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ELA 4: Peer Editing Descriptive Writing 51 Views


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Description:

Today we have an awesome video about an awesome subject: Awesomnes—wait no, descriptive writing. Hm. Maybe we should brush up on this subject as well. 

Language:
English Language

Transcript

00:03

[Dino and Coop singing]

00:13

Take a look at this gorilla. [Gorilla eating]

00:15

Heh, also, bet you didn't think we'd start this video with that sentence.

00:19

Anyway, let's say you wanted to use descriptive writing to describe this gorilla to someone else.

00:23

You might say it's “strong” or “hairy” or “smelly.” [Words appearing around the gorilla]

00:26

But what if the person you were describing the gorilla to had never seen a gorilla in [Flies around the gorilla]

00:31

their life before.

00:33

They don't have any idea what a gorilla is.

00:36

Even the word “gorilla” sounds crazy to them. [Guy holding a fork asking if it is a gorilla]

00:38

Which is fair.

00:39

If you say it a lot of times, it starts to sound weird.

00:42

Gorilla gorilla gorilla gorilla…. [Guy pulls a funny face and falls over]

00:44

Ahem.

00:45

So even if this person tried super hard to imagine a strong, hairy, smelly animal, chances

00:49

are pretty good that they won't come up with a gorilla.

00:52

…Huh.

00:53

That actually looks like our Uncle Sal… [Guy imagines a man with a white beard]

00:55

Anyway, that's because sometimes it's hard for us to know if our descriptive writing

00:59

is effective when we're so caught up in our own imaginations and not thinking about the [Woman describing her cat and the guy is imagining a vicious animal]

01:03

imaginations of others.

01:04

So how might we go about checking to see if our descriptive writing is actually effective? [Coop next to a blackboard]

01:08

By asking someone else, of course!

01:11

Peer editing – aka, when one of your friends or classmates provides feedback on your writing

01:15

- is a super important part of developing strong writing skills and your voice as a

01:19

writer.

01:20

Your fellow students can provide you with a fresh set of eyes and a unique perspective [Students faces appearing]

01:24

that can help point out areas in your writing where you might be able to use some stronger

01:27

words.

01:28

This could mean finding a better synonym for a word you might have used a few too many [Guys using a digger]

01:32

times, using a more specific adjective to describe your noun, or helping to structure

01:35

your sentences in an easy-to-understand way. [Guys in hard hats looking at building structures]

01:38

And this is really helpful because sometimes, when you read your own work over and over

01:42

again, you start to be blind to it. [Guy's work disappears off the page]

01:44

Maybe you love the word “awesome.”

01:46

It’s such a big and awesome part of your awesome vocabulary that you might not even

01:51

notice when you use that same awesome word three times in a single sentence. [Lego characters appear with the Lego movie song]

01:55

…Whoops.

01:56

But your peer might be able to point that out and suggest you try out a few more descriptive [Girl pushes the Lego characters away]

02:00

words.

02:01

So if you had the sentence “The awesome caterpillar turned into an awesome butterfly

02:05

and it was awesome," a peer might suggest, “The ambitious caterpillar turned into a [Girl brings a new sentence]

02:09

wildly beautiful butterfly and it was breathtaking.”

02:12

Much better!

02:13

So as you can see, peer editing is pretty…well…awesome! [Butterfly appears and says 'awesome']

02:17

It helps raise questions like, "what are some areas I can improve upon?" or, "what kind

02:21

of message am I trying to communicate, and how might I better communicate that message?"

02:25

And even, "how can I make better word choices in the future?" [Questions appearing on paper]

02:28

And who knows?

02:29

With the help of a good peer editor, that gorilla might stop looking like Uncle Sal

02:32

and end up looking like…

02:33

…..huh.

02:34

Now he looks kinda like Uncle Morty….weird…. [Uncle Sal disappears and a new man appears]

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