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Meet Yolanda. Yolanda likes

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things done a certain way. It goes beyond [Yolanda waving]

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just needing every hair on her head to

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be perfectly in place or insisting on [Yolanda combing her hair]

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wrinkle-free clothing. Everything on her [Yolanda ironing]

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desk needs to be at precise 90 or 180

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degree angles from the edges. The

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thermostat must always be set at exactly [Yolanda adjusting the thermostat]

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70 degrees she arranges the corn flakes

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in her cereal bowl into fractal patterns.

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Yeah... it's intense. Anyway, so it's no wonder

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that she's picky about the way her

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elements are organized. If her table of [Messy table of elements]

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elements looked like this, she'd have a

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complete and total freak out. Yeah, she's

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got a few simple rules. First, all

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elements must be organized by atomic

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radius. Atomic radius, which is one half

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the distance between the nuclei of two

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atoms, is used to determine an atom's size. [The atomic radius is shown on an element]

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When Yolanda arranges her elements,

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she demands that the atomic radii decrease

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from left to right and increase from top [The direction of the decrease and increase are shown by arrows]

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to bottom, like so. Yolanda's second

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major ask is that the elements are

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organized according to [The rules being written on a checklist]

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electronegativity. Here, she prefers--okay,

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prefers may not be a forceful enough word-- [Yolanda with her arms crossed]

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that electronegativity, or an atom's

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ability to attract an electron, increases

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from left to right and decreases from

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top to bottom.

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There, perfect. We should be good on all

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this now right? But no, Yolanda's [Dog looking disappointed]

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fussiness knows no bounds. Her next

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requirement is that the elements'

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ionization energy, or the amount of

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energy needed to remove an electron from

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an atom, increases from left to right and [The elements are shown organised by their ionization energy]

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decreases from top to bottom.

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Well great...what top-notch organization.

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Doesn't look like it could be improved

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upon even a smidge. [Yolanda's dog giving a paw]

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Oh, but wait: Yolanda also has a thing about

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electron affinity, which is the measure

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of how much an atom "wants" another

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electron. Are they as hungry for one as this guy, [Guy with 4 burgers in front of him]

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or are they more the house salad type? [Guy sat with a plate of salad]

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Well, Yolanda won't settle for any

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organizational approach that doesn't have

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elements increasing

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to electron affinity from left to

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right and decreasing from top to bottom.

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And wouldn't you know it? Yolanda's table looks [The periodic table is shown]

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a bit like the periodic table. In fact, it

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looks exactly like the periodic table,

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which is because when the periodic table

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was first put together in its current format, [Guy putting together the periodic table in segments]

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it was assembled by an individual who

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was as passionate as Yolanda about [Dmitri Mendeleev's dog saying "He never pets me."]

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achieving a harmonious composition.

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Unfortunately for our hero, she's going

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to be a wee bit bummed when she finds

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out that her submission for the Yolanda

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table of the elements was denied by the

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U.S. Patent Office. [Denied stamp on her application]

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