ShmoopTube

00:00

Sorry and here's your smoke to use your brought to

00:04

you by ah humble wayside flower because no one likes

00:08

a conceited wayside flower You know we've met Check out

00:13

the following passage Thank you We're done Which is the

00:22

best way to revise sentence one sentence one Right here

00:26

and here The potential answers All right looks like it's

00:36

time to make the first sentence a little last wordy

00:38

there's no doubt that it needs some work so we

00:40

could cross out option d right from the start option

00:44

b doesn't look so great either this one's kind of

00:47

a slacker there's more to do here than simply slicing

00:50

the sentence in to check out how hard it is

00:52

to understand the first sentence Now yeah that parenthetical citation

00:56

breaks the sentence up oddly and the final phrase feels

01:00

like it was just thrown on to the end don't

01:02

even get us started on the second sense it still

01:04

feels long and word even if it's been separated from

01:07

the first one Okay let's stop beating up a choice

01:09

b and move on to other options choice see has

01:11

the right idea This sentence is in need of some

01:14

serious rephrasing but unfortunately sees version is majorly awkward like

01:19

when you ask somebody out and she answered by pointing

01:21

out the spinach in your teeth We've been pretty well

01:25

maybe it's not exactly that kind of awkward but it's

01:27

awkward nonetheless soulless choice is going to be our best

01:30

option It makesem smart cuts By taking out that unnecessary

01:34

humble wayside flower boat and the citation that follows its

01:38

concise easy to understand and still manages to pack in

01:42

all the important info So we would like a little

01:44

more info on why a grown man would go around

01:47

calling himself kim for now like why would they do

01:50

that What It sounds like some oxy five cure that 00:01:55.337 --> [endTime] Maybe

Full Transcript