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CAHSEE ELA 1.5 Writing Strategies 190 Views


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Description:

In this CAHSEE test question, figure out how to correct a section of the passage if any corrections are needed. CAHSEE ELA; Writing Strategies Drill 1, Problem 5

Language:
English Language

Transcript

00:00

Sorry And here's your shmoop du jour brought to you

00:05

by santa claus Does that mean you're naughty or nice

00:10

checking appalling past And so grandma get Remember hearing one

00:19

fairy tales Thank you All right Which is the best

00:26

way to revise sentence seven This one right here and

00:31

here the potential answers clearly written Wears alright done Reading

00:39

let's Go All right Good editing isn't just about fixing

00:42

punctuation it's also about cutting out the unnecessary parts You

00:46

know like that Like an infected appendix Some sentences have

00:49

to go no matter how attached to them We are

00:52

sorry all right Choice and see both make a noble

00:55

effort to fix the awkwardness here but playing around with

00:58

punctuation ain't going to do the trick We can sprinkle

01:01

in semi colons commas or periods but at the end

01:03

of the day we're still left with an awkward sentence

01:05

that sounds too slangy for an essay And then we

01:09

have choice be well there's Nothing technically wrong here no

01:12

grammatical errors or anything like that Also by cutting out

01:16

the word like and separating the sentence with a period

01:19

this answer does make whole thing a little less awkward

01:22

Even though option b gets a lot of points in

01:24

our book it ultimately fails by committing the cardinal sin

01:27

of redundancy repeating itself saying the same thing over and

01:30

over and over and over again we never want our

01:32

essays to repeat the same information as soon as readers

01:35

get a whiff of redundancy Well that's when they stop

01:37

reading and start messaging around on their smartphones and check

01:41

out the new farmville three the revenge Both people play

01:44

it Lovett choice d wins the day by being the

01:47

only answer Brave enough to cut the second part of

01:49

the sentence altogether There are no grammatical mistakes here and

01:53

no redundancy Yes they still make sense and all is

01:56

well looks like we've got ourselves a fairy tale ending

02:00

the disney kind not the type where the kids were

02:02

chopped up and put in a pie like a soylent

02:04

green gray bold movie Ask your pain High card people