Enter Baptista, Vincentio, Gremio, the Merchant,
Lucentio, and Bianca; Hortensio and the Widow,
Petruchio and Katherine; Tranio, Biondello, and
Grumio, with Servingmen bringing in a banquet. LUCENTIO
At last, though long, our jarring notes agree,
And time it is when raging war is done
To smile at ’scapes and perils overblown.
My fair Bianca, bid my father welcome,
While I with selfsame kindness welcome thine. 5
Brother Petruchio, sister Katherina,
And thou, Hortensio, with thy loving widow,
Feast with the best, and welcome to my house.
My banquet is to close our stomachs up
After our great good cheer. Pray you, sit down, 10
For now we sit to chat as well as eat. They sit. PETRUCHIO
Nothing but sit and sit, and eat and eat! BAPTISTA
Padua affords this kindness, son Petruchio. PETRUCHIO
Padua affords nothing but what is kind. HORTENSIO
For both our sakes I would that word were true. 15 PETRUCHIO
Now, for my life, Hortensio fears his widow! WIDOW
Then never trust me if I be afeard. PETRUCHIO
You are very sensible, and yet you miss my sense:
I mean Hortensio is afeard of you. WIDOW
He that is giddy thinks the world turns round. 20 PETRUCHIO
Roundly replied. KATHERINE Mistress, how mean you that? WIDOW Thus I conceive by him. PETRUCHIO
Conceives by me? How likes Hortensio that? HORTENSIO
My widow says, thus she conceives her tale. 25 PETRUCHIO
Very well mended. Kiss him for that, good widow. KATHERINE
“He that is giddy thinks the world turns round”—
I pray you tell me what you meant by that. WIDOW
Your husband being troubled with a shrew
Measures my husband’s sorrow by his woe. 30
And now you know my meaning. KATHERINE
A very mean meaning. WIDOW Right, I mean you. KATHERINE
And I am mean indeed, respecting you. PETRUCHIO To her, Kate! 35 HORTENSIO To her, widow! PETRUCHIO
A hundred marks, my Kate does put her down. HORTENSIO That’s my office. PETRUCHIO
Spoke like an officer! Ha’ to thee, lad. He drinks to Hortensio. BAPTISTA
How likes Gremio these quick-witted folks? 40 GREMIO
Believe me, sir, they butt together well. BIANCA
Head and butt! An hasty-witted body
Would say your head and butt were head and horn. VINCENTIO
Ay, mistress bride, hath that awakened you? BIANCA
Ay, but not frighted me. Therefore I’ll sleep again. 45 PETRUCHIO
Nay, that you shall not. Since you have begun,
Have at you for a bitter jest or two. BIANCA
Am I your bird? I mean to shift my bush,
And then pursue me as you draw your bow.—
You are welcome all. 50 Bianca, Katherine, and the Widow exit. | Lucentio welcomes his guests to the wedding banquet and everybody hangs out and shoots the breeze, which involves a lot of trash talk, of course. Petruchio says Hortensio is afraid of his wife, the Widow, so the Widow chimes in and says Petruchio is crazy—he's the one who is afraid of his wife, Kate. Kate confronts the Widow but doesn't shrew out and pull her hair or anything. Seeing his wife in a verbal smack-down with another woman gets Petruchio excited—he cheers on Kate like he's at a bear baiting. |
PETRUCHIO
She hath prevented me. Here, Signior Tranio,
This bird you aimed at, though you hit her not.—
Therefore a health to all that shot and missed. TRANIO
O, sir, Lucentio slipped me like his greyhound,
Which runs himself and catches for his master. 55 PETRUCHIO
A good swift simile, but something currish. TRANIO
’Tis well, sir, that you hunted for yourself.
’Tis thought your deer does hold you at a bay. BAPTISTA
O, O, Petruchio! Tranio hits you now. LUCENTIO
I thank thee for that gird, good Tranio. 60 HORTENSIO
Confess, confess! Hath he not hit you here? PETRUCHIO
He has a little galled me, I confess.
And as the jest did glance away from me,
’Tis ten to one it maimed you two outright. BAPTISTA
Now, in good sadness, son Petruchio, 65
I think thou hast the veriest shrew of all. PETRUCHIO
Well, I say no. And therefore, for assurance,
Let’s each one send unto his wife,
And he whose wife is most obedient
To come at first when he doth send for her 70
Shall win the wager which we will propose. HORTENSIO
Content, what’s the wager? LUCENTIO Twenty crowns. PETRUCHIO Twenty crowns?
I’ll venture so much of my hawk or hound, 75
But twenty times so much upon my wife. LUCENTIO
A hundred, then. HORTENSIO Content. PETRUCHIO A match! ’Tis done. HORTENSIO Who shall begin? 80 LUCENTIO That will I.
Go, Biondello, bid your mistress come to me. BIONDELLO I go. He exits. BAPTISTA
Son, I’ll be your half Bianca comes. LUCENTIO
I’ll have no halves. I’ll bear it all myself. 85 Enter Biondello. How now, what news? BIONDELLO Sir, my mistress sends you
word
That she is busy, and she cannot come. PETRUCHIO
How? “She’s busy, and she cannot come”? 90
Is that an answer? GREMIO Ay, and a kind one, too.
Pray God, sir, your wife send you not a worse. PETRUCHIO I hope better. HORTENSIO
Sirrah Biondello, go and entreat my wife 95
To come to me forthwith. Biondello exits. PETRUCHIO O ho, entreat her!
Nay, then, she must needs come. HORTENSIO I am afraid, sir,
Do what you can, yours will not be entreated. 100 Enter Biondello. Now, where’s my wife? BIONDELLO
She says you have some goodly jest in hand.
She will not come. She bids you come to her. PETRUCHIO Worse and worse. She will not come!
O vile, intolerable, not to be endured!— 105
Sirrah Grumio, go to your mistress,
Say I command her come to me. Grumio exits. HORTENSIO
I know her answer. PETRUCHIO What? HORTENSIO She will not. 110 PETRUCHIO
The fouler fortune mine, and there an end. Enter Katherine. BAPTISTA
Now by my holidam, here comes Katherina! KATHERINE
What is your will, sir, that you send for me? PETRUCHIO
Where is your sister, and Hortensio’s wife? KATHERINE
They sit conferring by the parlor fire. 115 PETRUCHIO
Go fetch them hither. If they deny to come,
Swinge me them soundly forth unto their husbands.
Away, I say, and bring them hither straight. Katherine exits. LUCENTIO
Here is a wonder, if you talk of a wonder. HORTENSIO
And so it is. I wonder what it bodes. 120 PETRUCHIO
Marry, peace it bodes, and love, and quiet life,
An awful rule, and right supremacy,
And, to be short, what not that’s sweet and happy. BAPTISTA
Now fair befall thee, good Petruchio!
The wager thou hast won, and I will add 125
Unto their losses twenty thousand crowns,
Another dowry to another daughter,
For she is changed as she had never been. | When the women leave the room, the guys continue their little contest. Petruchio bets Hortensio and Lucentio twenty crowns that his wife is the most obedient. The fellas say they'll take that bet and they send a servant to fetch their wives. Lucentio and then Hortensio look like chumps when Bianca and then the Widow say they're too busy to stop what they're doing for their husbands. When Petruchio sends for Kate, she comes a-runnin' and asks Petruchio how she can serve him. Petruchio orders Kate to fetch the other wives and, to everyone's surprise, she does. Baptista is shocked. He says he doesn't recognize his own daughter, so he's going to give Petruchio another dowry since it seems like Petruchio has married a new and completely different woman. |
PETRUCHIO
Nay, I will win my wager better yet,
And show more sign of her obedience, 130
Her new-built virtue and obedience. Enter Katherine, Bianca, and Widow. See where she comes, and brings your froward
wives
As prisoners to her womanly persuasion.—
Katherine, that cap of yours becomes you not. 135
Off with that bauble, throw it underfoot. She obeys. WIDOW
Lord, let me never have a cause to sigh
Till I be brought to such a silly pass. BIANCA
Fie, what a foolish duty call you this? LUCENTIO
I would your duty were as foolish too. 140
The wisdom of your duty, fair Bianca,
Hath cost me a hundred crowns since suppertime. BIANCA
The more fool you for laying on my duty. PETRUCHIO
Katherine, I charge thee tell these headstrong
women 145
What duty they do owe their lords and husbands. WIDOW
Come, come, you’re mocking. We will have no
telling. PETRUCHIO
Come on, I say, and first begin with her. WIDOW She shall not. 150 PETRUCHIO
I say she shall.—And first begin with her. KATHERINE
Fie, fie! Unknit that threat’ning unkind brow,
And dart not scornful glances from those eyes
To wound thy lord, thy king, thy governor.
It blots thy beauty as frosts do bite the meads, 155
Confounds thy fame as whirlwinds shake fair buds,
And in no sense is meet or amiable.
A woman moved is like a fountain troubled,
Muddy, ill-seeming, thick, bereft of beauty,
And while it is so, none so dry or thirsty 160
Will deign to sip or touch one drop of it.
Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,
Thy head, thy sovereign, one that cares for thee,
And for thy maintenance commits his body
To painful labor both by sea and land, 165
To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,
Whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and safe,
And craves no other tribute at thy hands
But love, fair looks, and true obedience—
Too little payment for so great a debt. 170
Such duty as the subject owes the prince,
Even such a woman oweth to her husband;
And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour,
And not obedient to his honest will,
What is she but a foul contending rebel 175
And graceless traitor to her loving lord?
I am ashamed that women are so simple
To offer war where they should kneel for peace,
Or seek for rule, supremacy, and sway
When they are bound to serve, love, and obey. 180
Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth,
Unapt to toil and trouble in the world,
But that our soft conditions and our hearts
Should well agree with our external parts?
Come, come, you froward and unable worms! 185
My mind hath been as big as one of yours,
My heart as great, my reason haply more,
To bandy word for word and frown for frown;
But now I see our lances are but straws,
Our strength as weak, our weakness past compare, 190
That seeming to be most which we indeed least are.
Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot,
And place your hands below your husband’s foot;
In token of which duty, if he please,
My hand is ready, may it do him ease. 195 PETRUCHIO
Why, there’s a wench! Come on, and kiss me, Kate. They kiss. LUCENTIO
Well, go thy ways, old lad, for thou shalt ha ’t. VINCENTIO
’Tis a good hearing when children are toward. LUCENTIO
But a harsh hearing when women are froward. PETRUCHIO Come, Kate, we’ll to bed. 200
We three are married, but you two are sped.
To Lucentio. ’Twas I won the wager, though you
hit the white,
And being a winner, God give you good night. Petruchio and Katherine exit. HORTENSIO
Now, go thy ways, thou hast tamed a curst shrow. 205 LUCENTIO
’Tis a wonder, by your leave, she will be tamed so. They exit. | Petruchio goes on showing off and tells Kate to take off her ugly hat. Kate throws her hat on the ground. When Petruchio tells Kate to put the unruly wives in their proper places, Kate does that, too. She delivers the longest speech in play, which is all about how men are like kings and women are like their subjects—women should obey a man's every command. She also says husbands work hard to protect their wives, so women should be obedient. Bianca and the Widow, she says, are a disgrace to wives everywhere. Then, Kate kneels down and fondles Petruchio's feet while saying something like "You're the king, baby." Petruchio kisses Kate and says let's go to bed, baby. Then, he turns to the other men and brags that he's the man—he's landed a rich, obedient wife, and he just took an easy 200 crowns from a couple of suckas. Kate and Petruchio run off to bed, presumably, to make love and then live happily ever after. The wedding guests stand around with their mouths hanging open. |