Enter Petruchio and his man Grumio. PETRUCHIO
Verona, for a while I take my leave
To see my friends in Padua, but of all
My best belovèd and approvèd friend,
Hortensio. And I trow this is his house.
Here, sirrah Grumio, knock, I say. 5 GRUMIO Knock, sir? Whom should I knock? Is there
any man has rebused your Worship? PETRUCHIO Villain, I say, knock me here soundly. GRUMIO Knock you here, sir? Why, sir, what am I, sir,
that I should knock you here, sir? 10 PETRUCHIO
Villain, I say, knock me at this gate
And rap me well, or I’ll knock your knave’s pate. GRUMIO
My master is grown quarrelsome. I should knock
you first,
And then I know after who comes by the worst. 15 PETRUCHIO Will it not be?
Faith, sirrah, an you’ll not knock, I’ll ring it.
I’ll try how you can sol, fa, and sing it. He wrings him by the ears. Grumio falls. GRUMIO Help, mistress, help! My master is mad. PETRUCHIO Now knock when I bid you, sirrah 20
villain. | Having just arrived in Padua from Verona, Petruchio and his servant Grumio stand at Hortensio's front door. When Petruchio says "Here, sirrah Grumio; knock, I say," Grumio thinks he is being asked to slap his master. Not wanting to get beat down, Grumio refuses to do this. The pair go round and round and Grumio continues to misinterpret Petruchio's order for him to knock on the door. Petruchio finally gets fed up and twists Grumio's ears until the old man falls to his knees. |
Enter Hortensio. HORTENSIO How now, what’s the matter? My old
friend Grumio and my good friend Petruchio? How
do you all at Verona? PETRUCHIO
Signior Hortensio, come you to part the fray? 25
Con tutto il cuore ben trovato, may I say. HORTENSIO Alia nostra casa ben venuto, molto
honorato signor mio Petruchio.—Rise, Grumio,
rise. We will compound this quarrel. Grumio rises. GRUMIO Nay, ’tis no matter, sir, what he ’leges in 30
Latin. If this be not a lawful cause for me to leave
his service—look you, sir: he bid me knock him
and rap him soundly, sir. Well, was it fit for a
servant to use his master so, being perhaps, for
aught I see, two-and-thirty, a pip out? 35
Whom, would to God, I had well knocked at first,
Then had not Grumio come by the worst. PETRUCHIO
A senseless villain, good Hortensio.
I bade the rascal knock upon your gate
And could not get him for my heart to do it. 40 GRUMIO Knock at the gate? O, heavens, spake you not
these words plain: “Sirrah, knock me here, rap me
here, knock me well, and knock me soundly”? And
come you now with “knocking at the gate”? PETRUCHIO
Sirrah, begone, or talk not, I advise you. 45 HORTENSIO
Petruchio, patience. I am Grumio’s pledge.
Why, this’ a heavy chance ’twixt him and you,
Your ancient, trusty, pleasant servant Grumio.
And tell me now, sweet friend, what happy gale
Blows you to Padua here from old Verona? 50 PETRUCHIO
Such wind as scatters young men through the world
To seek their fortunes farther than at home,
Where small experience grows. But in a few,
Signior Hortensio, thus it stands with me:
Antonio, my father, is deceased, 55
And I have thrust myself into this maze,
Happily to wive and thrive, as best I may.
Crowns in my purse I have and goods at home,
And so am come abroad to see the world. HORTENSIO
Petruchio, shall I then come roundly to thee 60
And wish thee to a shrewd ill-favored wife?
Thou ’dst thank me but a little for my counsel—
And yet I’ll promise thee she shall be rich,
And very rich. But thou ’rt too much my friend,
And I’ll not wish thee to her. 65 PETRUCHIO
Signior Hortensio, ’twixt such friends as we
Few words suffice. And therefore, if thou know
One rich enough to be Petruchio’s wife
(As wealth is burden of my wooing dance),
Be she as foul as was Florentius’ love, 70
As old as Sibyl, and as curst and shrewd
As Socrates’ Xanthippe, or a worse,
She moves me not, or not removes at least
Affection’s edge in me, were she as rough
As are the swelling Adriatic seas. 75
I come to wive it wealthily in Padua;
If wealthily, then happily in Padua. GRUMIO, to Hortensio Nay, look you, sir, he tells you
flatly what his mind is. Why, give him gold enough
and marry him to a puppet or an aglet-baby, or an 80
old trot with ne’er a tooth in her head, though she
have as many diseases as two-and-fifty horses. Why,
nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal. HORTENSIO
Petruchio, since we are stepped thus far in,
I will continue that I broached in jest. 85
I can, Petruchio, help thee to a wife
With wealth enough, and young and beauteous,
Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman.
Her only fault, and that is faults enough,
Is that she is intolerable curst, 90
And shrewd, and froward, so beyond all measure
That, were my state far worser than it is,
I would not wed her for a mine of gold. | Hortensio opens the door and is surprised to see his old pal Petruchio beating up on an old servant. Petruchio and Hortensio greet each other in Italian, which Grumio mistakes for Latin. Grumio whines to Hortensio that Petruchio is a big meanie and says he should quit his job because he was punished for refusing to pummel his master. Petruchio explains the situation and tells Grumio he's going to get knocked out if he doesn't zip it. Hortensio tells Petruchio to chill and asks his buddy what brings him to Padua. Petruchio's dad recently died and left Petruchio a nice little inheritance. Wanting to fatten up his bank account some more, Petruchio has come to Padua to bag a rich wife. Hortensio jokes that he knows the perfect woman—a super rich shrew named Katherine. Petruchio says that sounds awesome because he's all about money. His wife can be ugly, old, and/or shrewish—it really doesn't matter to him because money = happiness. Hortensio says he was just kidding, but since Petruchio insists, he'll introduce him to her. |
PETRUCHIO
Hortensio, peace. Thou know’st not gold’s effect.
Tell me her father’s name, and ’tis enough; 95
For I will board her, though she chide as loud
As thunder when the clouds in autumn crack. HORTENSIO
Her father is Baptista Minola,
An affable and courteous gentleman.
Her name is Katherina Minola, 100
Renowned in Padua for her scolding tongue. PETRUCHIO
I know her father, though I know not her,
And he knew my deceasèd father well.
I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her,
And therefore let me be thus bold with you 105
To give you over at this first encounter—
Unless you will accompany me thither. GRUMIO, to Hortensio I pray you, sir, let him go while
the humor lasts. O’ my word, an she knew him as
well as I do, she would think scolding would do little 110
good upon him. She may perhaps call him half a
score knaves or so. Why, that’s nothing; an he begin
once, he’ll rail in his rope tricks. I’ll tell you what,
sir, an she stand him but a little, he will throw a
figure in her face and so disfigure her with it that 115
she shall have no more eyes to see withal than a cat.
You know him not, sir. HORTENSIO
Tarry, Petruchio. I must go with thee,
For in Baptista’s keep my treasure is.
He hath the jewel of my life in hold, 120
His youngest daughter, beautiful Bianca,
And her withholds from me and other more,
Suitors to her and rivals in my love,
Supposing it a thing impossible,
For those defects I have before rehearsed, 125
That ever Katherina will be wooed.
Therefore this order hath Baptista ta’en,
That none shall have access unto Bianca
Till Katherine the curst have got a husband. GRUMIO “Katherine the curst,” 130
A title for a maid, of all titles the worst. HORTENSIO
Now shall my friend Petruchio do me grace
And offer me disguised in sober robes
To old Baptista as a schoolmaster
Well seen in music, to instruct Bianca, 135
That so I may, by this device at least,
Have leave and leisure to make love to her
And unsuspected court her by herself. GRUMIO Here’s no knavery! See, to beguile the old
folks, how the young folks lay their heads together! 140 Enter Gremio and Lucentio, disguised as Cambio, a
schoolmaster. Master, master, look about you. Who goes there, ha? HORTENSIO
Peace, Grumio, it is the rival of my love.
Petruchio, stand by awhile. Petruchio, Hortensio, and Grumio stand aside. GRUMIO, aside
A proper stripling, and an amorous. GREMIO, to Lucentio
O, very well, I have perused the note. 145
Hark you, sir, I’ll have them very fairly bound,
All books of love. See that at any hand,
And see you read no other lectures to her.
You understand me. Over and beside
Signior Baptista’s liberality, 150
I’ll mend it with a largess. Take your paper too.
And let me have them very well perfumed,
For she is sweeter than perfume itself
To whom they go to. What will you read to her? LUCENTIO, as Cambio
Whate’er I read to her, I’ll plead for you 155
As for my patron, stand you so assured,
As firmly as yourself were still in place,
Yea, and perhaps with more successful words
Than you—unless you were a scholar, sir. GREMIO
O this learning, what a thing it is! 160 GRUMIO, aside
O this woodcock, what an ass it is! PETRUCHIO, aside Peace, sirrah. HORTENSIO, aside
Grumio, mum. Coming forward. God save you, Signior Gremio. GREMIO
And you are well met, Signior Hortensio. 165
Trow you whither I am going? To Baptista Minola.
I promised to enquire carefully
About a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca,
And by good fortune I have lighted well
On this young man, for learning and behavior 170
Fit for her turn, well read in poetry
And other books—good ones, I warrant you. HORTENSIO
’Tis well. And I have met a gentleman
Hath promised me to help me to another,
A fine musician to instruct our mistress. 175
So shall I no whit be behind in duty
To fair Bianca, so beloved of me. GREMIO
Beloved of me, and that my deeds shall prove. GRUMIO, aside And that his bags shall prove. HORTENSIO
Gremio, ’tis now no time to vent our love. 180
Listen to me, and if you speak me fair
I’ll tell you news indifferent good for either. Presenting Petruchio. Here is a gentleman whom by chance I met,
Upon agreement from us to his liking,
Will undertake to woo curst Katherine, 185
Yea, and to marry her, if her dowry please. | When Petruchio realizes that his dead dad knew Kate's dad, he decides he wants to hustle on over to Kate's house for a chat with her old man. Hortensio tags along so he can hit on Bianca. Hortensio explains that he will dress up as a private tutor and he wants Petruchio to present him as a "gift" to Kate's dad. That way, Petruchio can get in good with Baptista and Hortensio can make sweet love to Bianca in secret. At that moment, Gremio and Lucentio (disguised as Cambio) happen along. Gremio brags that he has hired Cambio as a gift for Baptista. Gremio has no idea that Cambio is really Lucentio (who also wants Bianca) as he explains that Cambio should only teach Bianca from books of love poetry, which will be doused in perfume to get Bianca in the mood for some lovin'. Lucentio (disguised as Cambio) tells Gremio that he will talk to Bianca on Gremio's behalf and will woo her even better than Gremio. Petruchio's servant Grumio comments under his breath that Gremio is a total chump. (We would have to agree.) Gremio and Lucentio talk some trash until Lucentio says he has good news for both of them: his old pal Petruchio is in town and wants to marry Kate. |
GREMIO So said, so done, is well.
Hortensio, have you told him all her faults? PETRUCHIO
I know she is an irksome, brawling scold.
If that be all, masters, I hear no harm. 190 GREMIO
No? Sayst me so, friend? What countryman? PETRUCHIO
Born in Verona, old Antonio’s son.
My father dead, my fortune lives for me,
And I do hope good days and long to see. GREMIO
Oh, sir, such a life with such a wife were strange. 195
But if you have a stomach, to ’t, i’ God’s name!
You shall have me assisting you in all.
But will you woo this wildcat? PETRUCHIO Will I live? GRUMIO
Will he woo her? Ay, or I’ll hang her. 200 PETRUCHIO
Why came I hither but to that intent?
Think you a little din can daunt mine ears?
Have I not in my time heard lions roar?
Have I not heard the sea, puffed up with winds,
Rage like an angry boar chafèd with sweat? 205
Have I not heard great ordnance in the field
And heaven’s artillery thunder in the skies?
Have I not in a pitchèd battle heard
Loud ’larums, neighing steeds, and trumpets clang?
And do you tell me of a woman’s tongue, 210
That gives not half so great a blow to hear
As will a chestnut in a farmer’s fire?
Tush, tush, fear boys with bugs! GRUMIO For he fears none. GREMIO Hortensio, hark. 215
This gentleman is happily arrived,
My mind presumes, for his own good and yours. HORTENSIO
I promised we would be contributors
And bear his charge of wooing whatsoe’er. GREMIO
And so we will, provided that he win her. 220 GRUMIO
I would I were as sure of a good dinner. | Gremio can't believe his ears and worries that Petruchio doesn't know what he's getting himself into. Petruchio tells them not to worry—he's the shrew-taming king. This sounds good to Gremio and Hortensio, who promise to reimburse Petruchio for any money he has to spend while he woos Kate, so long as he marries her. |
Enter Tranio, disguised as Lucentio, and Biondello. TRANIO, as Lucentio
Gentlemen, God save you. If I may be bold,
Tell me, I beseech you, which is the readiest way
To the house of Signior Baptista Minola? BIONDELLO He that has the two fair daughters—is ’t 225
he you mean? TRANIO, as Lucentio Even he, Biondello. GREMIO
Hark you, sir, you mean not her to— TRANIO, as Lucentio
Perhaps him and her, sir. What have you to do? PETRUCHIO
Not her that chides, sir, at any hand, I pray. 230 TRANIO, as Lucentio
I love no chiders, sir. Biondello, let’s away. LUCENTIO, aside
Well begun, Tranio. HORTENSIO Sir, a word ere you go.
Are you a suitor to the maid you talk of, yea or no? TRANIO, as Lucentio
An if I be, sir, is it any offense? 235 GREMIO
No, if without more words you will get you hence. TRANIO, as Lucentio
Why sir, I pray, are not the streets as free
For me, as for you? GREMIO But so is not she. TRANIO, as Lucentio
For what reason, I beseech you? 240 GREMIO
For this reason, if you’ll know:
That she’s the choice love of Signior Gremio. HORTENSIO
That she’s the chosen of Signior Hortensio. TRANIO, as Lucentio
Softly, my masters. If you be gentlemen,
Do me this right: hear me with patience. 245
Baptista is a noble gentleman
To whom my father is not all unknown,
And were his daughter fairer than she is,
She may more suitors have, and me for one.
Fair Leda’s daughter had a thousand wooers. 250
Then well one more may fair Bianca have.
And so she shall. Lucentio shall make one,
Though Paris came in hope to speed alone. GREMIO
What, this gentleman will out-talk us all! LUCENTIO, as Cambio
Sir, give him head; I know he’ll prove a jade. 255 PETRUCHIO
Hortensio, to what end are all these words? HORTENSIO, to Tranio
Sir, let me be so bold as ask you,
Did you yet ever see Baptista’s daughter? TRANIO, as Lucentio
No, sir, but hear I do that he hath two,
The one as famous for a scolding tongue 260
As is the other for beauteous modesty. PETRUCHIO
Sir, sir, the first’s for me; let her go by. GREMIO
Yea, leave that labor to great Hercules,
And let it be more than Alcides’ twelve. PETRUCHIO, to Tranio
Sir, understand you this of me, in sooth: 265
The youngest daughter, whom you hearken for,
Her father keeps from all access of suitors
And will not promise her to any man
Until the elder sister first be wed.
The younger then is free, and not before. 270 TRANIO, as Lucentio
If it be so, sir, that you are the man
Must stead us all, and me amongst the rest,
And if you break the ice and do this feat,
Achieve the elder, set the younger free
For our access, whose hap shall be to have her 275
Will not so graceless be to be ingrate. HORTENSIO
Sir, you say well, and well you do conceive.
And since you do profess to be a suitor,
You must, as we do, gratify this gentleman,
To whom we all rest generally beholding. 280 TRANIO, as Lucentio
Sir, I shall not be slack; in sign whereof,
Please you we may contrive this afternoon
And quaff carouses to our mistress’ health,
And do as adversaries do in law,
Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends. 285 GRUMIO AND BIONDELLO
O excellent motion! Fellows, let’s be gone. HORTENSIO
The motion’s good indeed, and be it so.—
Petruchio, I shall be your ben venuto. They exit. | Tranio (disguised as Lucentio) arrives on the scene and asks for directions to Baptista's house, which worries Petruchio and Gremio because they don't want any more competition. The suitors bicker amongst themselves until they agree that, if Tranio wants in on the deal, he will have to pony up some cash to help cover Petruchio's expenses. Tranio agrees. That settled, the guys decide they should hang out together over dinner and some cocktails. |