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No wedding planner You still remember the first wedding you

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ever attended You were seven and it was in your

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bedroom It was the marriage of tony to teddy bear

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to stephanie the stuffed platypus match made in heaven The

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wedding was attended by your little brother who had been

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forced to wear one of your nice dresses and sit

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still for an entire eight minutes It was beautiful You

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fell in love with weddings like tony had fallen in

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love with stephanie the pomp and circumstance the violin music

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the tears of happiness being shed by all of the

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other stuffed animals you thought to yourself i could get

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used to this I want to spend my life in

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and around weddings And that feeling never left you even

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after you grew up in attended actual weddings attended by

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actual human beings So you became a wedding planner and

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now you want to tear those little husband and wife

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miniatures off the cake and chan them into your eyes

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Why While the wedding's air still beautiful for the most

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part there's the occasional ceremony held in a hot smelly

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barn And once in a while you'll get a couple

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Of weirdos who want to get married while decked out

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in hobbit year or dressed as frankenstein in the bride

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of auras college football mascots or chickens or sans clothing

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but generally the wedding's air very pretty everyone's crying happy

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tears except for you you're crying sad angry tears of

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frustration relief and a desire never to see another human

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being again in your life Why Well started it for

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a m when the bride called you on your cell

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to make sure you double checked with the band to

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confirm they're coming you did in the are one more

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college by thirty the bride wants to know if you

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arrange for the photographer to take pre ceremony photos in

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the dressing rooms bridezilla has awakened so yeah you didn't

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get a ton of sleep you're already cranky doesn't bode

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well for the day you show up at the venue

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and old historic estate with a beautiful lawn where the

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wedding will take place at seven thirty ceremony isn't until

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three but this isn't the sort of gig where you

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can just kind of pop in and pop out In

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fact you've pretty much felt like you're living with this

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Couple for the past three months But today now that

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all the vendors have been confirmed the cake has been

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ordered The flowers have been purchased the table linens have

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been decided upon and the trio of juggling fire breathing

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acrobats has been hired Hey there's no accounting for taste

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it's about pulling together all of the elements and making

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sure the show goes off without a hitch because that's

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what it really is a performance that begins when the

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music starts playing and doesn't end until the last remaining

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wedding Guests stumbled drunkenly into their ubers From the moment

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you arrive at the venue you are bombarded by people

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making deliveries and other people asking questions You've got to

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show the cake guy where the cake goes the flower

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guy where the flowers go and the juggling acrobats where

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their balls are the venue manager gets up in your

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face because one of the delivery vans honked its horn

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which is in violation of the neighbourhood noise ordinance Yep

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totally your fault and within your control right Well the

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caterer starts screaming at you because he was under the

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impression he'd only need to feed a hundred people ride

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That one hundred twenty even though you called them three

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times in the past week to explain that there would

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be one hundred twenty and oh the bride has called

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another three times one time to ask if it's supposed

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to rain another time to ask if someone a table

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to khun b moved table five for dinner and another

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time i'll just a chat Then the bride's thirteen year

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old niece starts playing her violin really badly Maid of

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honor totally hung over from the bachelorette party wants to

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know where she should put her hand written speech during

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the ceremony Well the best man needs help tying a

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tie but luckily i found the ring you know not

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asked where he found it Your manager agent personal shopper

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fashion consultant and baby sitter all at once We have

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to perform every one of your functions while more or

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less mint in your cool at least on the outside

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because that brian is a giant ball of stress and

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you cannot add to her anxiety and you're adding it

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up in your head that the average marriage in america

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lasts about three p point two years during the ceremony

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You're keeping an eye on the musicians to make sure

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they're not starting too early You're checking with the ushers

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to make sure they know where to seat everyone We're

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checking with the bartenders to make sure the bar is

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fully stocked because people are gonna want a drink No

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yeah this career ain't easy on the old nerves but

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there are some definite perks Orkin a location wedding who

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you might just have yourself a free trip to hawaii

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and at least you aren't chained to a desk somewhere

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You're moving around usually in beautiful sometimes exotic settings it

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could be worse Pay is okay depending on where you

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are you could be pulling in everywhere from a couple

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grand per wedding in the heart of the midwest to

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ten grand a wedding arm or in silicon valley or

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even way more for the super high end affairs books

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some twenty million dollar wedding for a couple of muckety

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mucks and you could be pulling in over a hundred

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grand for your efforts It also depends on whether or

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not you're a solo planner or you work for a

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wedding planning company the upside of working for a company

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Well the gigs are more regular and steady and your

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job's a whole lot more secure the downside Well the

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company's taking a big fat cut so you make a

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lot less per wedding plus you'll have one of those

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boss things standing over you Another downside Weddings aren't exactly

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on the rise fill any als don't get married no

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one's in a rush to have kids like they used

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to be i can't imagine why young people can't really

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afford nice expensive weddings or pricy wedding planners and the

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divorce rate has stalled in recent decades mainly because people

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are getting married so much later in life so there's

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a chance they'll make a drunken mistake one night in

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vegas when they're twenty two and be looking to remarry

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a year later And yeah in the wedding planning business

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divorces your friend there's also the matter of many venues

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having on site wedding planners some of these people are

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jack of all trades you know they mow the lawn

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they clean the gutters they dispose of the bodies and

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so on so your options aren't exactly slim but they're

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slimming but if you're able to get rolling like book

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forty weddings a year in that around five grand a

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wedding Well that's a very comfortable two hundred thousand dollars

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of income for you were going a forty parties a

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year One of the best things about becoming a wedding

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planner is that you don't have to go to college

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for four plus years First you may just need to

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take a certification course to be legit at which point

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you can start booking and planning away and if going

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it alone you'll need a business license and probably a

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driver license to Unless you're working with a bunch of

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clients who want to get married in your living room

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you also need to become a master of self promotion

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that means business card schmoozing it conferences assembling a portfolio

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and getting plenty of eyeballs Looking at it you'll need

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to plan weddings yes but you'll also be in charge

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of planning your own life Those wedding planning up your

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alley Do you think you could handle the pressure If

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so all you need to do is say i do

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