You're a "writer." You tell everyone you're a "writer." When filling out your tax return, you list your occupation as "writer." However, the last time you ever actually wrote anything was when you sent a letter to the Department of Water and Power, begging them not to cut your electricity.

You're a part-time freelancer. Since you have some background in the insurance business, you mainly write web copy for insurance companies' websites. But the bulk of your income comes from temping.

You're a quasi-successful writer. You've tried your hand in a number of things; had some articles published, some short stories, one novel by a small press. Your other writer friends describe you as having "made it."

You're a feature writer for a major national magazine. Sometimes you even get to interview celebrities. Gosh, they have so much to say.

Your series of children's books have sold hundreds of millions of copies, spurred the production of several films and captured the imaginations of children and adults alike.