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Essay Revision Videos 20 videos

TSI Writing: Revising a Letter by Adding Transitions
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Which is the best way to revise and combine sentences 1 and 2?

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TSI Writing: Choosing the Best Introductory Transition
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Which of the following is best to insert at the beginning of sentence 8?

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TSI Writing: Removing Extraneous Information 8 Views


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Description:

Which sentence should be removed from paragraph three because it provides extraneous information?


Transcript

00:03

All right see Writing shmoop er's Here we go It's

00:05

Just dive into the question on this one We've already

00:08

skimmed the who's this out of these paragraphs Alright Which

00:12

sentence should be removed from paragraph three Because it provides

00:16

extraneous information All right Wanna sentence ectomy here let's Go

00:20

back to paragraph three Real quick hearing just in the

00:23

puppy One two three There were no managing stress management

00:26

with first place environmental factors So common triggers in their

00:29

personal best person We're gonna job being funny Women morals

00:32

understand women coming Negative effects Okay well let's think about

00:37

this Extraneous information is sort of like swimming out in

00:40

the deep end when everyone else playing nicely in the

00:42

kiddie pool before all playing marco polo in the random

00:45

showoff starts doing flips off The diving board of talent

00:48

tends to be really irritating Yeah bob we're looking at

00:51

you the sentence that irritates us even more than someone

00:54

cannon balling our game is a little example of the

00:56

guy at odds with his job Because it's taking funding

00:59

away from kids we don't have anything against his morals

01:03

We advise him to quit right away But we do

01:05

Have an issue with inserting this tidbit of information where

01:09

it really isn't necessary just doesn't conform with the tone

01:11

the information being conveyed from the rest of the work

01:14

So that's it it's sea since ten and the others

01:18

just don't make sense He'll go through real quick We'll

01:20

sentence seven a right there provides the topic sentence for

01:24

paragraph three so it's definitely needed sentence Nine is unnecessary

01:28

details sports topics in So we gotta have that thing

01:30

in their way and the route incense eleven while the

01:33

right there is the important clincher for the paragraph and

01:36

can't come out because the transitions in paragraph four without

01:39

splashing everyone else Now did everyone make sure you wait

01:42

a half hour after eating before going in the pool

01:44

that an old wives tale Or is that like a 00:01:46.304 --> [endTime] thing man

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