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Texas EOC English 2: 3.1 Revision 168 Views
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Description:
Transcript
- 00:00
Thank you We sneak in and here's your shmoop too
- 00:05
sure brought to you by grim reality of those people
- 00:09
who went to med school and then found out how
- 00:10
little they'd make as pediatricians Yeah but they're doing good
- 00:14
for the world But i am a lot All right
Full Transcript
- 00:17
Are we skim in maria's dreams here let's See what
- 00:22
maria wants to do with the world when she has
- 00:24
four hundred thousand dollars in debt Okay maria would like
- 00:29
to make her thesis stating in sentences One two three
- 00:32
clearer and more effective Which is the best way for
- 00:36
her to do this And here the potential answers graduate
- 00:40
from I want to be a doctor All right so
- 00:44
we've got three disconnected senses that need to become one
- 00:47
concise thesis statement Somehow we've got to get these sentences
- 00:50
Teo mingle Maybe a potluck dinner How about that Or
- 00:53
we'll chop out some words and stick them all back
- 00:55
together in a way that makes sense Yeah That's Better
- 00:57
Okay well a makes an attempt to do that When
- 01:00
i graduate from high school i will want to be
- 01:03
a pediatrician And for that i will attend college and
- 01:06
study medicine It's way too wordy And to be really
- 01:09
just plain awkward it goes for this weird slam dunk
- 01:12
but falls on its face Trashcan full of dirty diapers
- 01:15
Not good All right well see isn't going to make
- 01:18
steam either Once again the wording is awkward Sorry See
- 01:21
Better luck next time senses joyce bea is concise which
- 01:25
is great I want to be a doctor and therefore
- 01:27
i plan to attend college and study medicine But it's
- 01:30
a little too concise leaves out some stuff We need
- 01:32
the part about maria specifically wanting to be a pediatrician
- 01:35
Otherwise that thesis is incomplete He is the right answer
- 01:38
I have always wanted to be a pediatrician So after
- 01:41
high school i plan to attend college and study medicine
- 01:44
and then go heavily into debt Actually that we added
- 01:48
anyway this sentence concisely tells us that maria wants to
- 01:51
be a pediatrician and gives us the steps she's going
- 01:53
to take to be one Gonna be a lot of
- 01:55
work costs a lot of money But one day helping
- 01:58
the shrieking snotty bratty children in the world will make 00:02:01.038 --> [endTime] it all worthwhile Buy him a lot
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