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PSAT 1.1 Writing Diagnostic. How should the underlined portion be changed in the passage, if at all?
PSAT 1.10 Writing Diagnostic. How would you change the below underlined portion of the passage, if at all?
PSAT 1.10 Writing Narrative Walkthrough. How would you change the underlined portion, if at all?
PSAT 1.1 Writing Diagnostic 242 Views
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Description:
PSAT 1.1 Writing Diagnostic. How should the underlined portion be changed in the passage, if at all?
Transcript
- 00:00
Thank you We sneak And here's your shmoop douceur brought
- 00:05
to you by traffic laws You're not required to stop
- 00:09
in the name of love But whatever works for you
- 00:12
All right check out this passage already I'm here No
- 00:24
Depressing Alright how should the underlined portion be changed in
Full Transcript
- 00:28
the passage if at all including examples such as bullying
- 00:32
or that alright here the potential answer You see the
- 00:35
no change thing there and then a couple of ways
- 00:37
of doing it all righty well is with all of
- 00:40
these underlying type problems we're gonna want to start by
- 00:42
going back to the passage to get some context Unfortunately
- 00:46
we don't have to travel very far because well here
- 00:48
it is didn't even have to break a sweat but
- 00:50
here's a full sentence in which it appears video systems
- 00:53
can help monitor passenger behaviour in this wait Negative actions
- 00:56
including examples such as bullying or theft monitor traffic surrounding
- 01:01
the vehicle and assistant recording observance of traffic laws and
- 01:04
to enhance driver safety through as lot of of love
- 01:07
of blobs That's probably right off the bat we can
- 01:09
turn a cold children option eight because there's no way
- 01:11
this sentence is a okay as it is including examples
- 01:15
such as bullying or theft Well this makes it sounds
- 01:18
as if bullying and theft or examples of examples government
- 01:22
examples of negative actions which is what passages really trying
- 01:26
to say so before we go too far down the
- 01:28
rabbit hole and start winding up with example of example
- 01:31
of example of examples let's cross this one out move
- 01:33
on What about be where they change such as to
- 01:37
like Well we appreciate them trying to put a valley
- 01:40
girl spin on things Oh my god But such as
- 01:44
and like are like totally the same thing the way
- 01:47
the sentences phrase it's still calling bullying and theft examples
- 01:52
and not types of behavior a subtle distinction But they
- 01:55
were all about subtlety Yeah season over said see such
- 01:59
as bully or theft for example Well it's definitely getting
- 02:03
closer since that at least conveys the intended point Unfortunately
- 02:06
there's a tad too much repetition here also there is
- 02:09
a tad too much repetition here That jazz and for
- 02:13
example are basically the same thing Sounds like someone's trying
- 02:17
to stretch things out to meet a word Count requirements
- 02:19
were shocked They didn't throw a heretofore or in a
- 02:22
cz much in there so long Well then the correct
- 02:26
answer has to be deep such as bullying or theft
- 02:29
And indeed it is such as ties bullying or theft
- 02:33
To the description that immediately precedes it In this sense
- 02:37
negative actions And unless you're bullying a bully or stealing
- 02:41
someone's heart those two are certainly negative actions So it
- 02:44
is inasmuch as we heretofore have hitherto concluded that ok 00:02:49.63 --> [endTime] we have to hit our word count right now
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