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Epic Hero 2496 Views
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Description:
Everybody who's tired of the word “epic,” raise your hand. Wow, that’s a lot of hands. But there is an acceptable time and place for the word. If you hadn’t already guessed, that time and place is here and now.
Transcript
- 00:10
Epic Hero. We certainly hear the word "Epic" bandied
- 00:13
about a lot these days.
- 00:15
"Epic Mickey."
- 00:16
An "epic win."
- 00:18
And, of course, an "epic fail." But what makes something literally "epic?"
Full Transcript
- 00:25
More specifically, what makes a hero epic? This is Greg.
- 00:31
Greg is just a regular guy living in Cleveland, Ohio with his parents, Mary and Jim, and his
- 00:35
younger brother, Michael. Greg's favorite thing to do is play with his
- 00:40
XBox 360.
- 00:41
He can kick some major booty on Madden '13. Greg and Michael also like to play baseball.
- 00:47
Like... real baseball.
- 00:48
One day, when his parents aren't home, Michael practices throwing Greg a few fastballs in
- 00:52
the back yard.
- 00:54
Greg takes a mighty swing... and accidentally breaks a window.
- 00:58
With his bat. Smooth move, Greg. When the rents get home, Greg blames the broken
- 01:02
window on Michael.
- 01:03
Michael... doesn't take it so well. In retaliation, Michael steals Greg's XBox
- 01:08
controller.
- 01:08
Oooh... it's on now. Brand new mortal enemies Michael and Greg
- 01:12
are at each other's throats for the next week.
- 01:15
Their fight involves atomic wedgies, boxer shorts in the freezer, and cellophane on the
- 01:20
toilet. The full package. It only ends when Mary and Jim ground both
- 01:24
boys and force Michael to return the controller. Definitely not an "epic" tale.
- 01:29
In fact, it might be similar to something that has happened between you and your sibling...
- 01:33
... and you haven't gotten any calls from Homer recently asking for the rights to your
- 01:38
life story. Let's see what happens when we put Greg and
- 01:40
Michael through the EPIC machine. The epic machine takes ordinary people and
- 01:44
situations...
- 01:45
... and makes them larger than life... by adding the elements of an epic.
- 01:50
This is Prince Greg.
- 01:51
He is the heir to the Kingdom of Clevelandia<<cleave-land-ee-uh>>...
- 01:54
... son of King James and Queen Mary, and older brother to Prince Michael.
- 01:59
Prince Greg's prized possession is his family's ancestral scepter...
- 02:03
... a magical device that enables him to control the movements of everyone around him.
- 02:08
It's especially fun to use when someone's on the john.
- 02:11
One day, when Michael and Greg are fencing...
- 02:14
... Greg's hand slips...
- 02:15
... and he accidentally kills his father's favorite servant who is standing nearby.
- 02:19
Greg is afraid of his father's hot temper...
- 02:21
...and blames the servant's death on Michael. Michael is angry. Like... someone else ate
- 02:26
your last piece of Halloween candy angry.
- 02:30
In retaliation, he steals the magical sceptre and spirits it to the Underworld.
- 02:34
Without the magical scepter...
- 02:36
...the kingdom of Cleavelandia is unable to defend itself from its enemies...
- 02:39
... a band of marauding trolls...
- 02:41
...with really bad breath. Greg embarks on a quest to the Underworld
- 02:46
to find the magical sceptre.
- 02:48
He makes sure to pack an extra pair of shorts, because it can get pretty hot down there.
- 02:53
The goddess of the Underworld returns the sceptre to Greg as a reward for overcoming
- 02:58
all of the obstacles on the way...
- 03:01
... including a stream of fire, man-eating birds with the heads of dragons, and a field
- 03:07
of tranquilizing fruit.
- 03:09
Greg still regrets drinking that entire tranquilizing fruit smoothie.
- 03:15
The goddess of the Underworld informs Greg of Michael's treachery.
- 03:18
Greg returns home a hero.
- 03:21
He kills Michael after revealing what he has done, earning the praise of his father.
- 03:26
Guess everyone forgot who started this whole mess with his butterfingers.
- 03:29
Now that was an epic story.
- 03:33
It had all the elements -- a noble hero, otherworldly stuff going on, a quest...
- 03:37
...and just a little splash of tragedy.
- 03:42
Notably absent? Wedgies and noogies. They don't really say "epic" to us.
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