A side-by-side translation of Act 3, Scene 4 of Twelfth Night, or What You Will from the original Shakespeare into modern English.
Original Text |
Translated Text |
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Source: Folger Shakespeare Library | |
Enter Olivia and Maria. OLIVIA, aside MARIA He’s coming, madam, but in very strange manner. OLIVIA Why, what’s the matter? Does he rave? MARIA No, madam, he does nothing but smile. Your | In her garden, Olivia frets about whether or not "Cesario" will come back for a little visit. Then she asks Maria where Malvolio is. Maria tells Olivia that Malvolio's on his way, but he's acting like he's possessed by demons—he's been smiling a lot and for no good reason. |
OLIVIA Enter Maria with Malvolio. How now, Malvolio? MALVOLIO Sweet lady, ho, ho! OLIVIA Smil’st thou? I sent for thee upon a sad MALVOLIO Sad, lady? I could be sad. This does make OLIVIA Why, how dost thou, man? What is the matter MALVOLIO Not black in my mind, though yellow in my OLIVIA Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio? MALVOLIO To bed? “Ay, sweetheart, and I’ll come to OLIVIA God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so, and 35 MARIA How do you, Malvolio? MALVOLIO At your request? Yes, nightingales answer MARIA Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness 40 MALVOLIO “Be not afraid of greatness.” ’Twas well OLIVIA What mean’st thou by that, Malvolio? MALVOLIO “Some are born great—” 45 OLIVIA Ha? MALVOLIO “Some achieve greatness—” OLIVIA What sayst thou? MALVOLIO “And some have greatness thrust upon OLIVIA Heaven restore thee! MALVOLIO “Remember who commended thy yellow OLIVIA Thy yellow stockings? MALVOLIO “And wished to see thee cross-gartered.” 55 OLIVIA Cross-gartered? MALVOLIO “Go to, thou art made, if thou desir’st to be OLIVIA Am I made? MALVOLIO “If not, let me see thee a servant still.” 60 OLIVIA Why, this is very midsummer madness! | When Malvolio enters in a ridiculous get-up (yellow stockings with cross-garters) and a silly grin on his face, Olivia asks what the heck's wrong with him. She wants to know why he's smiling like an idiot when she's in such a sad mood. Malvolio continues to act like a fool—slobbering on Olivia's hand, talking nonsense, and insulting Maria. When Malvolio quotes lines from the forged letter, Olivia has no idea what he's talking about and thinks he's totally lost his mind. Malvolio presses on and asks Olivia if she remembers telling him to wear yellow stockings and cross-garters, and she says he's acting crazy. |
Enter Servant. SERVANT Madam, the young gentleman of the Count OLIVIA I’ll come to him. Servant exits. Good Maria, let 65 Olivia and Maria exit in different directions. MALVOLIO O ho, do you come near me now? No worse 70 | When a servant enters and announces that "Cesario" has arrived, Olivia tells Maria to fetch Toby and company to look after Malvolio so she can rush off to greet "Cesario." Malvolio's left alone and tells us that he thinks Olivia is totally into him—he can't wait to carry out the instructions of the letter by being rude to Sir Toby. |
Enter Toby, Fabian, and Maria. TOBY Which way is he, in the name of sanctity? If all FABIAN Here he is, here he is.—How is ’t with you, sir? MALVOLIO Go off, I discard you. Let me enjoy my MARIA, to Toby Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks MALVOLIO Aha, does she so? TOBY, to Fabian and Maria Go to, go to! Peace, peace. MALVOLIO Do you know what you say? MARIA, to Toby Layou, an you speak ill of the devil, FABIAN Carry his water to th’ wisewoman. 110 MARIA Marry, and it shall be done tomorrow morning MALVOLIO How now, mistress? MARIA O Lord! 115 TOBY Prithee, hold thy peace. This is not the way. Do FABIAN No way but gentleness, gently, gently. The TOBY, to Malvolio Why, how now, my bawcock? How MALVOLIO Sir! TOBY Ay, biddy, come with me.—What, man, ’tis not MARIA Get him to say his prayers, good Sir Toby; get MALVOLIO My prayers, minx? MARIA, to Toby No, I warrant you, he will not hear of 130 MALVOLIO Go hang yourselves all! You are idle, shallow He exits. | Sir Toby and Fabian enter and pretend to think Malvolio's possessed and needs an exorcism. Malvolio tells them to get lost (he wants to continue his fantasy in private), but Maria says, see guys, I told you his body's been taken over by a devil. Malvolio is totally confused by the crew's behavior, especially when Fabian suggests they get a urine sample (so the local witch can examine it, of course) and make Malvolio say his prayers. Malvolio tells them to get lost and runs away |
TOBY Is ’t possible? 135 FABIAN If this were played upon a stage now, I could TOBY His very genius hath taken the infection of the MARIA Nay, pursue him now, lest the device take air 140 FABIAN Why, we shall make him mad indeed. MARIA The house will be the quieter. TOBY Come, we’ll have him in a dark room and | The crew is left to chuckle about how delicious their prank is. Fabian says it's going better than they could have imagined. In fact, if this were scene in a play, he wouldn't believe it. They decide to chase after Malvolio and lock him up in a dark room that will make Malvolio go crazy. |
Enter Sir Andrew. FABIAN More matter for a May morning. ANDREW, presenting a paper Here’s the challenge. FABIAN Is ’t so saucy? ANDREW Ay, is ’t. I warrant him. Do but read. 155 TOBY Give me. He reads. "Youth, whatsoever thou art, FABIAN Good, and valiant. TOBY reads "Wonder not nor admire not in thy mind FABIAN A good note, that keeps you from the blow of TOBY reads "Thou com’st to the Lady Olivia, and in my FABIAN Very brief, and to exceeding good sense—less. TOBY reads "I will waylay thee going home, where if it be FABIAN Good. 170 TOBY reads Thou kill’st me like a rogue and a villain. FABIAN Still you keep o’ th’ windy side of the law. TOBY reads "Fare thee well, and God have mercy upon MARIA You may have very fit occasion for ’t. He is now TOBY Go, Sir Andrew. Scout me for him at the corner ANDREW Nay, let me alone for swearing. He exits. | Just then, Sir Andrew Aguecheek enters with the letter he has written to challenge "Cesario" to a duel. Toby reads the hilariously insulting letter aloud and assures Andrew that he'll deliver the note to "Cesario." In the meantime, Andrew should go hide in the orchard. When "Cesario" shows up, Andrew should jump out from behind a tree, draw his sword, and say something scary to "Cesario." Andrew runs off to the orchard. |
TOBY Now will not I deliver his letter, for the behavior Enter Olivia and Viola. FABIAN Here he comes with your niece. Give them 205 TOBY I will meditate the while upon some horrid Toby, Fabian, and Maria exit. | Toby tells Fabian and Maria that he's not going to deliver Aguecheek's silly letter. Instead, Toby's going to deliver a verbal message to "Cesario." Since both "Cesario" and Aguecheek are wimps, they'll both be shaking in their boots at the thought of fighting each other. Olivia and "Cesario" enter just then, but Toby and crew run off to work out the details of their plan before confronting "Cesario." |
OLIVIA VIOLA OLIVIA VIOLA OLIVIA VIOLA I will acquit you. OLIVIA She exits. | This gives Olivia a chance to be alone with the luscious "boy." Olivia says she knows "Cesario" isn't into her, but she just can't help herself. She accuses "Cesario" of having a "heart of stone." "Cesario" replies that Duke Orsino feels just as sad as Olivia does—unrequited love is a bummer for everyone and Orsino still wants Olivia. Olivia begs "Cesario" to wear her miniature (a piece of jewelry with a tiny portrait of Olivia painted on it) and to come back to Olivia's place tomorrow so Olivia can try to seduce "him" again. |
Enter Toby and Fabian. TOBY Gentleman, God save thee. VIOLA And you, sir. TOBY That defense thou hast, betake thee to ’t. Of what VIOLA You mistake, sir. I am sure no man hath any 235 TOBY You’ll find it otherwise, I assure you. Therefore, VIOLA I pray you, sir, what is he? TOBY He is knight dubbed with unhatched rapier and VIOLA I will return again into the house and desire 250 TOBY Sir, no. His indignation derives itself out of a very 255 VIOLA This is as uncivil as strange. I beseech you, do TOBY I will do so.—Signior Fabian, stay you by this Toby exits. | After Olivia leaves, Toby Belch and Fabian enter again and tell "Cesario" that someone's in the garden waiting to beat him into a pulp. "Cesario's" terrified and insists that "he" isn't a fighter. Too bad, says Toby, whip out your sword! |
VIOLA Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter? FABIAN I know the knight is incensed against you even 270 VIOLA I beseech you, what manner of man is he? FABIAN Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read VIOLA I shall be much bound to you for ’t. I am one They exit. | "Cesario" asks Fabian if he knows the guy who's challenging "Cesario." Fabian says yes and that he's the most skillful swordsman around. He adds that if "Cesario" will head to he orchard, he, Fabian, will try to help smooth things over. "Cesario" thanks him and they head off. |
Enter Toby and Andrew. TOBY Why, man, he’s a very devil. I have not seen such ANDREW Pox on ’t! I’ll not meddle with him. TOBY Ay, but he will not now be pacified. Fabian can ANDREW Plague on ’t! An I thought he had been TOBY I’ll make the motion. Stand here, make a good Enter Fabian and Viola. Toby crosses to meet them. Aside to Fabian. I have his horse to take up the FABIAN, aside to Toby He is as horribly conceited of 305 | Meanwhile, Sir Toby goes into the orchard and tells Aguecheek that "Cesario" is crazy and can't wait to fight him. Aguecheek is terrified and tries to back out but Toby tells him it's too late—he better get ready to rumble because "Cesario" is ready to go. Sir Andrew tells Toby to tell "Cesario" that Sir Andrew will give him his horse if "Cesario" doesn't beat him up. Toby says he'll make the offer. He runs over to Fabian and the two of them chuckle at how scared they have "Cesario" and Andrew. |
TOBY, to Viola There’s no remedy, sir; he will fight VIOLA Pray God defend me! Aside. A little thing FABIAN Give ground if you see him furious. Toby crosses to Andrew. TOBY Come, Sir Andrew, there’s no remedy. The ANDREW, drawing his sword Pray God he keep his VIOLA, drawing her sword | Toby then tells "Cesario" there's no way out of this mess: Sir Andrew's ready to mop the floor with him. Working together, Fabian and Toby manage to get "Cesario" and Andrew together, both shaking and with their swords drawn. |
Enter Antonio. ANTONIO, to Andrew TOBY You, sir? Why, what are you? ANTONIO, drawing his sword TOBY, drawing his sword Enter Officers. FABIAN O, good Sir Toby, hold! Here come the officers. TOBY, to Antonio I’ll be with you anon. VIOLA, to Andrew Pray, sir, put your sword up, if 335 ANDREW Marry, will I, sir. And for that I promised FIRST OFFICER This is the man. Do thy office. 340 SECOND OFFICER Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit of | Just then, Antonio enters and thinks that "Cesario" is his boy, Sebastian. (Viola looks a lot like her twin brother and apparently the two look identical now that Viola is disguised as "Cesario.") Antonio's scared for his boy "Sebastian" and tries to break up the fight. He and Toby trade insults and draw their swords. "Cesario" and Andrew put their swords away and Andrew promises "Cesario" his horse. Then, the cops show up to arrest Antonio, who has been recognized as one of the pirates who stole from the Duke. |
ANTONIO You do mistake me, sir. FIRST OFFICER ANTONIO SECOND OFFICER Come, sir, away. 355 ANTONIO, to Viola VIOLA What money, sir? ANTONIO Will you deny me now? VIOLA I know of none, 370 ANTONIO O heavens themselves! SECOND OFFICER Come, sir, I pray you go. ANTONIO FIRST OFFICER ANTONIO FIRST OFFICER ANTONIO Lead me on. Antonio and Officers exit. | Since Antonio thinks that "Cesario" is Sebastian, he asks "him" to return the money he gave him earlier so he can buy his way out of jail. "Cesario" has no idea what Antonio's talking about but, being a nice person, "Cesario" gives him some money anyway. Antonio is hurt because he thinks Sebastian has hung him out to dry. He can't believe Sebastian would screw him over like this, after everything Antonio's done for him. He goes off about how he saved Sebastian from drowning, has been a devoted and loving friend, and then calls Sebastian (who is actually "Cesario") a devil. The cops couldn't care less about any of this drama and they haul Antonio off to the clink. |
VIOLA, aside TOBY Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian. We’ll Toby, Fabian, and Andrew move aside. VIOLA, aside She exits. | Meanwhile, it finally occurs to Viola (disguised as "Cesario") that Antonio has mistaken her for her twin brother, Sebastian, since the siblings look so much alike. This gives Viola some hope that Sebastian is still alive and didn't drown at sea after all. Viola, still disguised as "Cesario," keeps this info to herself. |
TOBY A very dishonest, paltry boy, and more a coward 405 FABIAN A coward, a most devout coward, religious ANDREW ’Slid, I’ll after him again and beat him. TOBY Do, cuff him soundly, but never draw thy ANDREW An I do not— FABIAN Come, let’s see the event. 415 TOBY I dare lay any money ’twill be nothing yet. They exit. | Toby, Fabian, and the cowardly Andrew hang back and talk trash about what a wimp "Cesario" has turned out to be. Andrew pretends like he wasn't shaking in his boots two minutes ago and says he ought to run after "Cesario" and beat him down. Toby eggs on Andrew and they run off after "Cesario." |