Read the full text of Troilus and Cressida Act 5 Scene 7 with a side-by-side translation HERE.
- Achilles shows up with his gang.
- He gives them detailed instructions about how he wants them to surround Hector and then "impale him" with their weapons. (Read: Stab him in the guts like he's Julius Caesar.)
- Next, Menelaus and Paris battle their way across the stage.
- Thersites follows and yells out stuff like "Hey, it's the 'cuckold' and 'the cuckold maker' going at it. Get him Paris! Get him!"
- Then a guy named Margarelon (a.k.a. the "Bastard" son of Priam) shows up and challenges Thersites to fight.
- Thersites is all "Who the heck are you?" and Margarelon is all "A bastard son of Priam's, duh."
- Then Thersites says that, hey, he loves "bastards," being one himself. In fact, "bastards" should really try to stick together and stay out of this nasty war."
- Thersites runs away. Are you shocked?