Theseus's Conversations
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Hey ladies! Hero party at Jason's beach cabana tonight. Odysseus, Achilles, Perseus—everybody will be there. Heracles is even coming down from Olympus. Expect volleyball, margaritas, and awesomeness.
You ditched me on an island. There wasn't any volleyball on that beach, Theseus.
Was it complicated later on when you married my sister?
Well, it got real complicated when Phaedra got a crush on Hippolytus and tricked me into having him killed. He was my son, Ariadne. How do you think that made me feel?
Why, by all the gods of Olympus, would I care about how you feel?
I can't believe you're up here whining about how Phaedra treated you. You deserved every awful thing that she did to you.
Was I really that awful?
Uh...yes, you got my son killed.
There's no need to hold a grudge.
Why don't you come by the Amazon club tonight and help me unleash my pent-up aggression?
I'll pass, thanks.
Hey everybody, just want to announce that I'm starting a Hero 101 seminar. Sign up now to learn how you, too, can be as awesome as me.
I can save them all the time. If you want to be famous like Theseus, all you have to do is murder some poor, misunderstood soul while he's innocently minding his own business.
Don't front, you loved eating children.
For the record, I hate both of you, too.
I hope it rains.