- The narrator (a dog-bear type creature, we guess?) tells us how he walks in the woods at night. Turns out, he's never been afraid before.
- Then—wouldn't you know it?—he sees a pair of empty pants.
- He's still not scared, but he's rightfully curious as to what empty pants are doing hanging out in the woods.
- Didn't curiosity once kill the dog-bear type creature? Uh oh.
- At that moment, the empty pants move and scare the narrator. He flees the scene, leaving the empty pants behind.
- Whew. Crisis averted.
- A week later, the narrator fetches some spinach from Grin-itch. Naturally.
- While walking home, he's almost run over by a bicycle ridden by the empty pants—which is pretty impressive when you think about it.
- He loses his Grin-itch spinach but is too scared to care. He runs for home, exclaiming that empty pants shouldn't ride bicycles.
- We concur.
- The next night, the narrator is fishing when he sees the empty pants rowing toward him. He flees so furiously that he loses his hook, line, and bait.
- The little guy must be hungry. He just lost two meals in two nights.
- Where does he hide? In a Brickel bush, of course.
- Even with brickels in uncomfortable places, he hides all day and night and the next night, too. Unfortunately, the night after, he has to run an errand.
- While picking Snides (berries, we think), he tries to convince himself he isn't afraid of the empty pants.
- Lies.
- The narrator reaches into a Snide bush and touches—wait for it—the empty pants.
- Now he's cornered and alone with the empty pants, screaming horror-movie style.
- At that point, the pants begin to cry, which is… weird. But it helps the narrator realize that the pants are just as scared as he is.
- The narrator puts his arm around the empty pants and calms down the poor scared britches. Aww.
- The two still meet each other in the woods pretty often. Now, they greet each other with a smile and a hello. And, yes, the pants say hello. Just go with it.