I thought you transformed into a river.

Being a river was boring.

Fair enough.

So whazzup!? Where's the party at?

Dad, don't go posting things like "whazzup" on the group page.

Why not?

It's just not cool anymore.

The nymphs won't even talk to us if it gets around that we say things like "whazzup."

I guess I was a river for too long.

I'd come, but I've been dead ever since Apollo beat me in a music contest, peeled off my skin, and nailed it to a tree.

You know that some people say it was me that happened to?

Um, yeah. Pretty sure it was me. Being skinned is not something you forget.

Apollo is a jerk. You invented the flute. You deserve more respect than that.

Too right. Apollo is a jerk, and he's totally uptight. It's too bad the world got saddled with such a crap god of music.

This slander will not go unanswered!

Pshhhhhaw! What're you going to do?

I challenge you to a music contest to be judged by the Muses.

Choose your weapon, sir.

The pan flute!

Ha! I invented the pan flute!

And Marsyas invented the flute flute. Still he was cowed by my magnificence.

What happens if I lose?

I know of a particular tree in need of a goat hide.

Cool!

Awesome!

Tight!

Bangin'!

Gnarly!

Dad, don't say things like that either.

What? Nobody says gnarly anymore?

You raised me, Silenus. You can say "gnarly" at my Bacchanal if you want to.

Groovy!

Okay, but you can't say that.