How It All Goes Down
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- Wade is in a state of shock and awe, as the unexpected intruder isn't just any avatar; it's the famous Art3mis, whom Wade has a cyber-crush on.
- Her first, super romantic words to her admirer are, "Who the hell are you?" (9.1).
- Wade lusts after Art3mis—her completely digital, artificially created avatar, that is. He thinks she's pretty hot. Again, the thought lurks in the back of his mind that she might be "an obese, hairy-knuckled guy named Chuck" (9.6).
- She wants to know how he did in the Joust against Acererak, and he tries to fake like he didn't totally kick his bony butt.
- The two go from rivals to buds pretty quickly, even exchanging custom-made calling cards.
- Before they part, Art3mis sees Parzival's name on the scoreboard, the first name to ever appear on the board in almost five years.
- She flips out that Parzival not only won the key on his first try, but also lied about it to her. To hinder Parzival's exit, she casts a barrier spell that will hold him in the Pillared Chamber until midnight, when the server resets and all the enemies come back.
- Then she warns him not to go public with his true identity. "There are a lot of people who would kill for that information" (9.125). We hear ya, sister.
- Finally, Art3mis wants to know what Parzival would do with the money if he wins. He wants to blast himself into space with a bunch of video games and live there, which is a strange combo of liberating and depressing.
- Art3mis, on the complete opposite end of the spectrum, wants to feed the world's hungry. And give everyone a kitten. Okay, we're kidding about the kitten part, but seriously, she's very altruistic.
- As he's leaving the Tomb, Parzival gives Art3mis a tip: ask Acererak to trade places.