Not every student is Mark Twain, so don't expect discontent to look or sound like a Cary Grant flick. Make no mistake, though: there will be grumbling. Whether or not you have seen Hannah Richardson's dismal little article about the inability of boys to read past page 100, it will become clear from the moment you mention Austen's title. So why is it that your students will suddenly hit you with the old "My-dog-ate-my-e-reader-so-I-didn't-do-my-homework" excuse?

Well, duh. The book is boring (lace and dancing?!). It's totally not "relatable." Who cares if Lydia spends the weekend in London with her boyfriend? Why doesn't Lizzy just jump Wickham and be done with it? Also, what is this language, anyway? Old English was not supposed to be on the syllabus.