We have changed our privacy policy. In addition, we use cookies on our website for various purposes. By continuing on our website, you consent to our use of cookies. You can learn about our practices by reading our privacy policy.

Odysseus (Ulysses)'s Conversations

Odysseus (Ulysses)'s Conversations

Wall

Calypso

I still miss you, Odysseus.

Penelope

Back off my man, you tart.

Calypso

He always thought I was the most beautiful woman he'd been with. He told me so. Didn't you, Odysseus?

Whatever Calypso, we all know that distinction belongs to yours truly.

Calypso

I doubt that, you ugly old witch.

Penelope

Who did he come home to? Huh?! Who?!

Ladies... ladies... can we not have this discussion on my wall?

Penelope

No, I want everybody to know once and for all. Who do you really love?

You... of course! You!

Calypso

Seven years together, Odysseus. Didn't it mean anything to you?

I should've turned you into a pig and had a barbecue.

Penelope

You're still sleeping in the courtyard tonight.

Somehow the Underworld seemed a lot more exciting when I visited it while I was alive.

If you don't like it, you can go back to the land of the living!

Umm... Okay.

Atropos

Absolutely not.

I was speaking rhetorically.

Thought of a great new party game: Pin the Spear on the Cyclops's Face.

Polyphemus

That's not funny.

I love it. Let's play it at Helen and Menelaus's party Friday night

Yay!

A little crude... but okay.

Polyphemus

If you were all still alive, I swear by Poseidon I would find a way to eat you.

Playing chess with my great grandfather, Hermes, tonight.

Penelope

I'll hide the good silverware.

LOL.

Thinking about going on a little cruise down the River Acheron this evening.

Stay off my river, you young whipper snapper!

Oh, what's the harm?

Penelope

Please don't do it, Odysseus. I probably won't see you again for twenty years.

It's a river. How lost could I get?

Penelope

Odysseus, I love you. You're brilliant. But you're obviously not the best navigator there ever was.