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Dude, you're such a downer.
Son, I made your career. Without me, who'd you gripe about?
Hegster, you really wanna talk about lineage?
Dude—what do you want? I've always looked up to you!
I'm important. I do everything. I do all the things.
You all are my hell. My nausea. My sadness.
Stop posting random lolcats on my wall.
I can't help it, you're my fav speculative philosopher. You're The Speculative Philosopher, man.
That's not even a thing! Stop making up nicknames for me.
Ummm. You might want to ignore my Tumblr for a few days.
Hey, bro. Thanks for the B-day wishes. Want to grab some grub later?
Omigod, yeah. Yeah, totally. Uh. Just need to check with the Mrs.
Whatever.
Cool, then I'm in. Omigod, this is gonna be epic.
I can't believe you're actually going.
What? You said it was fine.
Ugh. Nevermind.
Girl, at least he married you.
You're still bent out of shape over that?
Hel-lo! You abandoned me and our son.
He's fine.
I grew up in an orphanage. You're both pretty bad parents, when it comes down to it.
Suck it up, Kid.
You've been inactive for a while, logging you out in a few seconds...
Son, I made your career. Without me, who'd you gripe about?