Shmoop's crack team of P.I.'s hacked into Athena's email account to give you the inside scoop on the goddess of wisdom.

A Correspondence with Ares

To: ares_the_boss2@godsofolympus.com
From: athena_the_wise@godsofolympus.com
Subject: Cease and Desist

Ares,

I'm writing to make you aware that I have a strong objection to the recent war you have incited. Though you are my brother, once again you have proven yourself to be a brutish god and a far inferior deity of war than I am. It is quite clear to everyone that you have begun this war only because of your love of bloodshed. Battles should only be fought when a peaceful solution is impossible and preferably only in the cause of defense. I insist that you desist in this aggression immediately, or you will feel my wrath. Yes, Ares, I am normally an even-tempered goddess, but now my anger isn't anything you can afford to ignore.

Your sister,
Athena

To: athena_the_wise@godsofolympus.com
From: ares_the_boss2@godsofolympus.com
Re: Cease and Desist

ATHENA,
BRING IT ON! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
-ARES!

A Correspondence with Metis

To: athena_the_wise@godsofolympus.com
From: metis@zeusbelly.com
Subject: HELP!

Athena,

Daughter! Help me! Please!

Your loving mother,
Metis

To: metis@zeusbelly.com
From: athena_the_wise@godsofolympus.com
Re: HELP!

Dearest Mother,

I was overjoyed to reconnect with you recently on my Profile. It must be very dreary having to spend every day inside the belly of Zeus. I must admit to you that I do understand my father's motivation for swallowing you when he discovered that you were pregnant. The prophecy clearly stated that any child born from you would replace him as the King of the Gods. It is my opinion that Zeus made the correct strategic decision. Because I emerged – fully grown – from his skull, his downfall was avoided.

However, I want to express my deepest sympathies for your current situation. I will be forever grateful for the gleaming armor you forged for me as I grew to adulthood with you inside of Zeus. In light of this, and all of your kindnesses, I'm pleased to inform you that I will soon be petitioning Zeus for your release. As I have a good relationship with my father, I am optimistic as to the prospect of your release.

With Fondness,
Athena

A Correspondence with Hephaestus

To: hephy.metalman@godsofolympus.com
From: athena_the_wise@godsofolympus.com
Subject: Experience the wrath of Athena

Hephaestus,

You are a disgusting and vile man, and your very presence is revolting to me. I am appalled at your recent attempt to "woo" me. It is widely known that I am a virgin goddess, and that I'm determined to maintain my virginal status. If you attempt such a thing again I will be forced to sever each and every appendage from your body.

Sincerely,
Athena

To: athena_the_wise@godsofolympus.com
From: hephy.metalman@godsofolympus.com
Re: Experience the wrath of Athena

Athena,

You don't have to be so mean about it. I was just lonely because Aphrodite has been spending so much time with stupid Ares.

Sorry,
Hephy