You got upset with one of your patients who was acting irrationally, and told her to take a long walk off a short pier. She did. Whoops.

You work for a facility in inner city Chicago, where your clientele consists of at-risk youths. It's great when you get through to one of them, but it isn't often. And considering how some of them come into your office handling switchblades, you're a little at-risk yourself.

You have a private practice in The-Middle-of-Nowhere, Idaho. It's a quiet, serene life—you have your steady block of patients that you see all the time, and you make a little headway every now and again. Nothing special—Miramax isn't banging down your door for the movie rights to your life.

You've been running a hugely successful practice in the middle of Manhattan for the past three decades. Business will always be booming, because…have you been to Manhattan?

You have a successful television show and have published a dozen bestsellers. Dr. Phil, Dr. Shmil.