Enter Juliet. JULIET
The clock struck nine when I did send the Nurse.
In half an hour she promised to return.
Perchance she cannot meet him. That’s not so.
O, she is lame! Love’s heralds should be thoughts,
Which ten times faster glides than the sun’s beams, 5
Driving back shadows over louring hills.
Therefore do nimble-pinioned doves draw Love,
And therefore hath the wind-swift Cupid wings.
Now is the sun upon the highmost hill
Of this day’s journey, and from nine till twelve 10
Is three long hours, yet she is not come.
Had she affections and warm youthful blood,
She would be as swift in motion as a ball;
My words would bandy her to my sweet love,
And his to me. 15
But old folks, many feign as they were dead,
Unwieldy, slow, heavy, and pale as lead. Enter Nurse and Peter. O God, she comes!—O, honey nurse, what news?
Hast thou met with him? Send thy man away. | In an orchard at the Capulet place, Juliet waits for the Nurse to come back with a message from Romeo. Time is passing in super slo-mo for Juliet, so when the Nurse finally returns, she's desperate to hear what Romeo said. |
NURSE Peter, stay at the gate. Peter exits. 20 JULIET
Now, good sweet nurse—O Lord, why lookest thou
sad?
Though news be sad, yet tell them merrily.
If good, thou shamest the music of sweet news
By playing it to me with so sour a face. 25 NURSE
I am aweary. Give me leave awhile.
Fie, how my bones ache! What a jaunt have I! JULIET
I would thou hadst my bones, and I thy news.
Nay, come, I pray thee, speak. Good, good nurse,
speak. 30 NURSE
Jesu, what haste! Can you not stay awhile?
Do you not see that I am out of breath? JULIET
How art thou out of breath, when thou hast breath
To say to me that thou art out of breath?
The excuse that thou dost make in this delay 35
Is longer than the tale thou dost excuse.
Is thy news good or bad? Answer to that.
Say either, and I’ll stay the circumstance.
Let me be satisfied; is ’t good or bad? NURSE Well, you have made a simple choice. You know 40
not how to choose a man. Romeo? No, not he.
Though his face be better than any man’s, yet his leg
excels all men’s, and for a hand and a foot and a
body, though they be not to be talked on, yet they
are past compare. He is not the flower of courtesy, 45
but I’ll warrant him as gentle as a lamb. Go thy
ways, wench. Serve God. What, have you dined at
home? JULIET
No, no. But all this did I know before.
What says he of our marriage? What of that? 50 NURSE
Lord, how my head aches! What a head have I!
It beats as it would fall in twenty pieces.
My back o’ t’ other side! Ah, my back, my back!
Beshrew your heart for sending me about
To catch my death with jaunting up and down. 55 JULIET
I’ faith, I am sorry that thou art not well.
Sweet, sweet, sweet nurse, tell me, what says my
love? | When the Nurse comes back, she plays a little game by refusing to tell Juliet anything and complaining about her aching back. It's actually not clear if the Nurse is toying with Juliet or if she's really too daft to understand how important this news is for her young lady. We lean toward the "daft" explanation. |
NURSE Your love says, like an honest gentleman, and a
courteous, and a kind, and a handsome, and, I 60
warrant, a virtuous—Where is your mother? JULIET
Where is my mother? Why, she is within.
Where should she be? How oddly thou repliest:
“Your love says, like an honest gentleman,
Where is your mother?” 65 NURSE O God’s lady dear,
Are you so hot? Marry, come up, I trow.
Is this the poultice for my aching bones?
Henceforward do your messages yourself. JULIET
Here’s such a coil. Come, what says Romeo? 70 | Just when it sounds like the Nurse is finally going to give Juliet and answer...psych! She gets distracted, wondering where Lady Capulet is. Juliet is not amused. |
NURSE
Have you got leave to go to shrift today? JULIET I have. NURSE
Then hie you hence to Friar Lawrence’ cell.
There stays a husband to make you a wife.
Now comes the wanton blood up in your cheeks; 75
They’ll be in scarlet straight at any news.
Hie you to church. I must another way,
To fetch a ladder by the which your love
Must climb a bird’s nest soon when it is dark.
I am the drudge and toil in your delight, 80
But you shall bear the burden soon at night.
Go. I’ll to dinner. Hie you to the cell. JULIET
Hie to high fortune! Honest nurse, farewell. They exit. | Finally, the Nurse gives in and tells Juliet to run to Friar Lawrence's cell (a "cell" is just a room) where Romeo is waiting so they can get hitched. While Juliet is getting married, the Nurse will be picking up the ladder Romeo mentioned. The Nurse delights in describing Romeo climbing the ladder to Juliet's room like he's climbing to a bird's nest, meaning both Juliet's room and her private parts. She adds that though she, the Nurse, is working hard now to make all these arrangements, Juliet will be working hard (i.e., having sex) all night. Sheesh. These Elizabethans and their sex talk... |