My Heartbeat Love Quotes
How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #1
"When you grow out of it, you will break my heart," he said. Almost two years later, and I'm still totally madly in love with James, but I'm more used to it. (1.6)
When does a crush become love? Does it correlate to a certain age or is it longevity? Is it the depth of emotion? What do you think, does Ellen love James or is she just enamored with him?
Quote #2
He should have asked you to go," Link says. "You would have gone with him."
"I might," I say. Probably. Sure. No doubt about it.
"You would," my brother says. "You would follow James to the moon." (1.54-56)
Love makes you do strange things and blind devotion is one of its more common side effects. Does this quote contain a hint of jealousy from Link, though?
Quote #3
I lie awake for a long time. For hours after Link has drifted off to sleep. I listen for and I hear James returning to the house. It is true I would follow James to the moon. But if Link would let me, I would follow him anywhere he wanted. (1.62)
Ellen adores her brother. Maybe if he weren't so surly and distant, he would realize that Ellen worships him almost as much as she admires James (it not more). Later on, James openly discusses how his flirtations with Ellen were redirected tokens of affection for Link; she was just the safer recipient. How much of her affection for James do you think might be redirected admiration for Link?
Quote #4
"I don't know if your brother is gay," Mom says, pouring milk into the bottom of her cup. "It's clear to me he and James love each other. Link seems happy more often than not."
For this we had to get tea and cake?
"They are both very young," Mom says. "I'm not sure they know." (5.14-16)
Here's a question for the ages: When is someone old enough to know they are in love? Is there a certain age you have to reach in order for love to count (for lack of a better word)?
Quote #5
"I'm not an expert," he says, "but I don't think sex is the thing that makes someone gay."
"What does?"
"It's more whom you love," James says. "The how and why of it. And if what you get back is worth what you give up."
What is he talking about? (6.20-23)
James might not be an expert, but we think he has a pretty good idea of what's going on. There's no one thing that makes someone gay, but seeing as sex and love often go hand in hand, he's at least headed in the right direction.
Quote #6
"But you love Link," I say to remind myself that when compared with Link, my qualities are irrelevant.
"It's hard to love Link," James says. "It's not something he encourages."
"He loves you," I say, no longer as sure about that as I was an hour ago.
"He has no clue what he feels," James says. "About me or math or college. Anything."
(6.42-45)
James is right (again), but we think that just because Link isn't sure about his emotions doesn't mean he doesn't feel them (you still with us?). Link loves James, for sure, but he's conflicted about what it means to love him.
Quote #7
"I asked Link what was the point of not letting someone love me. You know, someone who would let me love him. Could he give me one good reason not to go out with this guy? And your brother said, 'You have Ellen. Ellen loves you.'"
(10.12)
Oof, that was a bit unfair of Link. How does Ellen's love negate James's ability to date other people? Should he be held accountable for her schoolgirl crush? Was Ellen just a stand-in for himself when he says that?
Quote #8
When I am with James, I feel way more drunk from the kissing than I felt from the Sambuca I had that night. I am reckless with affection. Physical affection. As if I can make up for what my brother would not offer. As if I could kiss away any unhappy moment James has ever had. James says he will not sleep with me. Not, repeat, not. It is too soon. We have moved really fast, he says, because of the unusual way we became friends. He will not take advantage of that. Not with me. This is what he says. It is not always what he does, and I stay in my fog of kissing and touching. Of not kissing and not touching. (10.50)
Ellen is a bit starved for affection, so we can't blame her for unleashing the floodgates. We also can't blame James for feeling like he needs to pump the breaks a little bit.
Quote #9
As if James will let Link back without irrevocably forcing every issue under the sun. But he might. I don't know what it would mean for me, but I don't want to be with James if he'd rather have Link. Not true: I want to be with James no matter whom he loves more. Except that I would feel yucky, I would feel second best being with James if he wanted Link back. If they can deal with each other, they should have a fresh chance to choose. (14.27)
These are really mature thoughts for Ellen to have, especially when she's in the throes of new love. No one wants to be second best, and she's brave to volunteer to back down if Link had decided he was ready to restart their relationship.
Quote #10
"Let me guess," James asks. "They're still afraid you're gay."
So that's what it is. Fear. Dad's afraid Link's gay, and Mom's afraid Dad will be or already is handling it badly. It's not that either of them knows. They can't know anything for sure about Link. But the fear is everywhere. I do admire Mom, but I love James for saying clearly and fearlessly what is going on. I look to Link, who does not love clear and fearless speech nearly as much. (14.62-63)
So much fear surrounding love. Can love exist in a fear vacuum? Ooh, what would a fear vacuum even look like?
Quote #11
I watch expressions rush into Link's face, which makes it mysterious and beautiful. He is shy, thrilled, delighted, furious, ashamed, and frightened. Maybe he's not gay, but he loves James. I wish that loving James made Link as happy as it makes me. I wish I knew why it didn't. I look at Link's newly mysterious and beautiful face and think, There's nothing I wouldn't do for you.
Perhaps I love Link more than I can imagine loving James. More than Mr. Rochester loved Jane. The question that presents itself is what am I going to do about it? I am learning how to love James. Can I learn how best to love my brother? (14.89)
You would think that loving someone would come naturally, but Ellen is pretty awesome for figuring out that sometimes people need to be loved differently, and it's not always how you would like to be loved yourself. It's a bummer, though, that she's stuck feeling like loving Link and James is such an either/or situation.
Quote #12
I wonder if without me—without their useless insurance—they would shed their new armor. If I could make this happen, would it be the right way to love Link or just the wrong way to love James? (14.103)
Oof. Now Ellen's really stuck. By backing out to give them space, she might be giving Link the freedom to explore his feelings for James—but she would also be ignoring what James has already told her, which is that Link makes it too hard for him to love him. There's really no way for everyone to win in this situation.