Exactly how steamy is this story?
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Guys. Guys. If you came to The Metamorphosis looking for Fifty Shades of Sexcapades, we're really sorry. We're also a little worried about you—you feeling okay?
There isn't any bodice-ripping here. A photograph of a fully clothed woman on a wall is about as sexual as the story gets... unless you have a thing for feelers or moldy cheese? (Don't answer that.)