Epistle

Saying that the Zimmermann Telegram has structure may be generous. It didn't even have punctuation. The note was sent in code, basically a list of clustered digits that represented words, or parts of words, if you had the correct cipher.

The contents of the telegram were commands from a boss to an employee. Zimmermann was telling the German ambassador to Mexico what to do. It's written in the same style as when your mom leaves a sticky note telling you to take out the trash and wash the car. It's just a really inflammatory to-do list.

Suggest Mexico invade the U.S. Check.

Suggest Japan come along too. Check.

How it Breaks Down

Germany's Going to Be Naughty

First Zimmermann announces the return of everybody's favorite board game: battleship unrestricted submarine warfare. This is important to mention first because it will likely send the U.S. into a fit that will probably include declaring war. To avoid this totally unnecessary war (and start a different one), read ahead.

The Plan of Attack (Literally)

At the heart of the telegram are instructions to the German ambassador. Zimmermann lists several things that need to be suggested to the Mexican president including some humble-brags about how wicked cool the German navy is.