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Source: Folger Shakespeare Library |
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Enter Anne Bullen and an old Lady. ANNE Not for that neither. Here’s the pang that pinches: His Highness having lived so long with her, and she So good a lady that no tongue could ever Pronounce dishonor of her—by my life, She never knew harm-doing!—O, now, after 5 So many courses of the sun enthroned, Still growing in a majesty and pomp, the which To leave a thousandfold more bitter than ’Tis sweet at first t’ acquire—after this process, To give her the avaunt! It is a pity 10 Would move a monster. | Anne and an Old Lady dish about the king leaving his wife. Anne thinks the whole thing is really sad; she points out that Katherine has lived a good life and has always been above reproach, but it doesn't matter now: she's on the losing end of this one. |
OLD LADY Hearts of most hard temper Melt and lament for her. ANNE O, God’s will! Much better She ne’er had known pomp; though ’t be temporal, 15 Yet if that quarrel, Fortune, do divorce It from the bearer, ’tis a sufferance panging As soul and body’s severing. OLD LADY Alas, poor lady, She’s a stranger now again! 20 ANNE So much the more Must pity drop upon her. Verily, I swear, ’tis better to be lowly born And range with humble livers in content Than to be perked up in a glist’ring grief 25 And wear a golden sorrow. OLD LADY Our content Is our best having. ANNE By my troth and maidenhead, I would not be a queen. 30 | Anne even goes as far to say that it's better to be poor than to be born rich and then become poor. At least if it's all you've ever known, you can't mourn for what you've lost. Following this train of thought, Anne declares: "I would not be a queen." Um, okay. |
OLD LADY Beshrew me, I would, And venture maidenhead for ’t; and so would you, For all this spice of your hypocrisy. You, that have so fair parts of woman on you, Have too a woman’s heart, which ever yet 35 Affected eminence, wealth, sovereignty; Which, to say sooth, are blessings; and which gifts, Saving your mincing, the capacity Of your soft cheveril conscience would receive If you might please to stretch it. 40 ANNE Nay, good troth. OLD LADY Yes, troth, and troth. You would not be a queen? ANNE No, not for all the riches under heaven. | The Old Lady calls Anne's bluff: it would be awesome to be queen, she says. Think about all the power and money you could have. But Anne sticks to her story: she'll never be royal, she says. It's just not in her blood. She wouldn't become queen for all the money in the world. |
OLD LADY ’Tis strange. A threepence bowed would hire me, Old as I am, to queen it. But I pray you, 45 What think you of a duchess? Have you limbs To bear that load of title? ANNE No, in truth. OLD LADY Then you are weakly made. Pluck off a little. I would not be a young count in your way 50 For more than blushing comes to. If your back Cannot vouchsafe this burden, ’tis too weak Ever to get a boy. ANNE How you do talk! I swear again, I would not be a queen 55 For all the world. OLD LADY In faith, for little England You’d venture an emballing. I myself Would for Carnarvanshire, although there longed No more to th’ crown but that. Lo, who comes here? 60 | There's some more ribbing as Anne and the Old Lady playfully argue about
what it would be like to be queen. The Old Lady throws in a few jokes
about oral sex and having sex and fornication with the king. |
Enter Lord Chamberlain. CHAMBERLAIN Good morrow, ladies. What were ’t worth to know The secret of your conference? ANNE My good lord, Not your demand; it values not your asking. Our mistress’ sorrows we were pitying. 65 CHAMBERLAIN It was a gentle business, and becoming The action of good women. There is hope All will be well. ANNE Now, I pray God, amen! CHAMBERLAIN You bear a gentle mind, and heav’nly blessings 70 Follow such creatures. That you may, fair lady, Perceive I speak sincerely, and high note’s Ta’en of your many virtues, the King’s Majesty Commends his good opinion of you to you, and Does purpose honor to you no less flowing 75 Than Marchioness of Pembroke, to which title A thousand pound a year annual support Out of his grace he adds. | Just then, Lord Chamberlain enters, asking to speak with Anne privately.
He tells her the king wants to give her a swanky title—Marchioness of
Pembroke—and some bling. |
ANNE I do not know What kind of my obedience I should tender. 80 More than my all is nothing, nor my prayers Are not words duly hallowed, nor my wishes More worth than empty vanities. Yet prayers and wishes Are all I can return. ’Beseech your Lordship, 85 Vouchsafe to speak my thanks and my obedience, As from a blushing handmaid, to his Highness, Whose health and royalty I pray for. CHAMBERLAIN Lady, I shall not fail t’ approve the fair conceit 90 The King hath of you. (Aside.) I have perused her well. Beauty and honor in her are so mingled That they have caught the King. And who knows yet But from this lady may proceed a gem 95 To lighten all this isle?—I’ll to the King And say I spoke with you. ANNE My honored lord. Lord Chamberlain exits. | Anne is blown away and says thanks. As Chamberlain is leaving, he calls Anne a "gem" because she's so pretty and honorable. |
OLD LADY Why, this it is! See, see! I have been begging sixteen years in court, 100 Am yet a courtier beggarly, nor could Come pat betwixt too early and too late For any suit of pounds; and you—O, fate!— A very fresh fish here—fie, fie, fie upon This compelled fortune!—have your mouth filled up 105 Before you open it. ANNE This is strange to me. OLD LADY How tastes it? Is it bitter? Forty pence, no. There was a lady once—’tis an old story— That would not be a queen, that would she not, 110 For all the mud in Egypt. Have you heard it? | The Old Lady points out that if Anne gets this new title and cash
without even trying, then there could be all kinds of gifts in the
future. The Old Lady herself been around the block more than once, and she never received this kind of thing. |
ANNE Come, you are pleasant. OLD LADY With your theme, I could O’ermount the lark. The Marchioness of Pembroke? A thousand pounds a year for pure respect? 115 No other obligation? By my life, That promises more thousands; honor’s train Is longer than his foreskirt. By this time I know your back will bear a duchess. Say, Are you not stronger than you were? 120 ANNE Good lady, Make yourself mirth with your particular fancy, And leave me out on ’t. Would I had no being If this salute my blood a jot. It faints me To think what follows. 125 The Queen is comfortless and we forgetful In our long absence. Pray do not deliver What here you’ve heard to her. OLD LADY What do you think me? They exit. |
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