A side-by-side translation of Act 3, Scene 1 of The Two Gentlemen of Verona from the original Shakespeare into modern English.
Original Text |
Translated Text |
---|---|
Source: Folger Shakespeare Library | |
Enter Duke, Thurio, and Proteus. DUKE Thurio exits. Now tell me, Proteus, what’s your will with me? PROTEUS DUKE PROTEUS DUKE PROTEUS Proteus exits. | In Milan, the Duke sends Thurio out of the room so he can have a private conversation with Proteus. Proteus then tattles on Valentine for planning to elope with the Duke's daughter. What's worse, Proteus acts like he's betraying Valentine's confidence because the Duke has been such a generous host. We get confirmation that the Duke wants Silvia to marry Thurio and that he has suspected all along that his daughter is secretly dating Valentine. Proteus asks the Duke not to tell Valentine where he got his information and runs out of the room when he sees Valentine coming. |
Enter Valentine. DUKE VALENTINE DUKE Be they of much import? 55 VALENTINE DUKE VALENTINE DUKE VALENTINE DUKE VALENTINE DUKE VALENTINE DUKE VALENTINE DUKE VALENTINE DUKE VALENTINE DUKE VALENTINE DUKE VALENTINE | Valentine is on his way to Sylvia's window but the Duke stalls him. The Duke says Sylvia's a disobedient child and he's thinking of turning her out onto the streets without a dowry. That doesn't scare off Valentine so the Duke resorts to lying about being in love with a woman who is engaged to another man. Valentine advises him to elope with her, which basically confirms his own intentions to elope with Silvia. Then Valentine goes one step further and says he knows where the Duke can get a nice ladder to help him steal away with his lady. |
Enter Proteus and Lance. PROTEUS Run, boy, run, run, and seek him out. LANCE So-ho, so-ho! PROTEUS What seest thou? LANCE Him we go to find. There’s not a hair on ’s head 195 PROTEUS Valentine? VALENTINE No. PROTEUS Who then? His spirit? VALENTINE Neither. 200 PROTEUS What then? VALENTINE Nothing. LANCE Can nothing speak? Master, shall I strike? PROTEUS Who wouldst thou strike? LANCE Nothing. 205 PROTEUS Villain, forbear. LANCE Why, sir, I’ll strike nothing. I pray you— PROTEUS VALENTINE PROTEUS VALENTINE Is Sylvia dead? PROTEUS No, Valentine. VALENTINE PROTEUS No, Valentine. VALENTINE LANCE Sir, there is a proclamation that you are 220 PROTEUS VALENTINE PROTEUS VALENTINE PROTEUS VALENTINE PROTEUS VALENTINE Valentine and Proteus exit. | Proteus and Lance run in and Proteus delivers some bad news: Valentine has been banished. If he's caught in the Duke's court, he'll be put to death. Proteus says that Sylvia begged her father to relent but the Duke wasn't hearing any of it. Proteus, who wants Sylvia all for himself, advises Valentine to flee. He offers to deliver Valentine's love letters to Sylvia, since he's such a great friend and all. Valentine is crushed. Proteus offers to escort Valentine to the city limits. (What a good friend.) |
LANCE I am but a fool, look you, and yet I have the wit He takes out a piece of Here is the catalog of her condition. Enter Speed. SPEED How now, Signior Lance? What news with your 285 LANCE With my master’s ship? Why, it is at sea. SPEED Well, your old vice still: mistake the word. What LANCE The black’st news that ever thou heard’st. 290 SPEED Why, man? How black? LANCE Why, as black as ink. SPEED Let me read them. LANCE Fie on thee, jolt-head, thou canst not read. SPEED Thou liest. I can. 295 LANCE I will try thee. Tell me this, who begot thee? SPEED Marry, the son of my grandfather. LANCE O, illiterate loiterer, it was the son of thy grandmother. SPEED Come, fool, come. Try me in thy paper. 300 LANCE, giving him the paper There, and Saint Nicholas SPEED reads "Imprimis, She can milk." LANCE Ay, that she can. SPEED "Item, She brews good ale." 305 LANCE And thereof comes the proverb: “Blessing of SPEED "Item, She can sew." LANCE That’s as much as to say “Can she so?” SPEED "Item, She can knit." 310 LANCE What need a man care for a stock with a wench, SPEED "Item, She can wash and scour." LANCE A special virtue, for then she need not be SPEED "Item, She can spin." LANCE Then may I set the world on wheels, when she SPEED "Item, She hath many nameless virtues." LANCE That’s as much as to say “bastard virtues,” that 320 SPEED Here follow her vices. LANCE Close at the heels of her virtues. SPEED "Item, She is not to be kissed fasting in respect of 325 LANCE Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast. SPEED "Item, She hath a sweet mouth." LANCE That makes amends for her sour breath. 330 SPEED "Item, She doth talk in her sleep." LANCE It’s no matter for that, so she sleep not in her SPEED "Item, She is slow in words." LANCE O villain, that set this down among her vices! To 335 SPEED "Item, She is proud." LANCE Out with that too; it was Eve’s legacy and SPEED "Item, She hath no teeth." LANCE I care not for that neither, because I love crusts. SPEED "Item, She is curst." LANCE Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to bite. SPEED "Item, She will often praise her liquor." 345 LANCE If her liquor be good, she shall; if she will not, I SPEED "Item, She is too liberal." LANCE Of her tongue she cannot, for that’s writ down SPEED "Item, She hath more hair than wit, and more LANCE Stop there. I’ll have her. She was mine and not 355 SPEED "Item, She hath more hair than wit." LANCE “More hair than wit”? It may be; I’ll prove it: SPEED And more faults than hairs. LANCE That’s monstrous! O, that that were out! 365 SPEED And more wealth than faults. LANCE Why, that word makes the faults gracious. Well, SPEED What then? 370 LANCE Why, then will I tell thee that thy master stays SPEED For me? LANCE For thee? Ay, who art thou? He hath stayed for a SPEED And must I go to him? LANCE Thou must run to him, for thou hast stayed so SPEED, handing him the paper Why didst not tell me He exits. LANCE Now will he be swinged for reading my letter; He exits. | Lance remains on stage alone. He admits to the audience that he's fallen in love with an unnamed woman and then makes a ridiculous list of her excellent traits: she's better than a hunting dog and a horse because she can do chores around the house. (If you want to know what we think of this, check out Marriage Quotes.) Speed enters and helps Lance with his list of the mystery woman's virtues and vices. Lance and Speed argue about whether or not her "slowness in words" should be listed as a "vice" or a "virtue." (This is a sexist joke since the so-called ideal woman was supposed to be virtuous, obedient, and silent.) After wasting a ton of Speed's time, Lance tells him that his master is waiting for him. He adds that Speed better hurry, because it's been a while since he's master called for him. Speed snaps at Lance for not telling him sooner and then runs off to meet Valentine. |