- Hooooo, we thought the previous chapter was full of philosophical musings. We don't know what hit us with this one, and neither does the cosmopolitan after he encounters Pitch.
- Pitch immediately distrusts the cosmopolitan and mocks his attire, a multi-colored mix of patterns and textures over crisp white pants.
- The cosmopolitan retorts with a sort of pot-kettle response—remember that Pitch is wearing a bunch of animal skins.
- Pitch: Fair, but stop touching me. (The cosmopolitan keeps trying to grab his arm, put his hand on his shoulder, etc.)
- The men engage in a debate over whether it's better to distrust mankind and live a solitary life (Pitch's happy idea) or live in the world, tasting everyone (the cosmopolitan compares people with wine).
- The cosmopolitan tries a few tactics. First, he argues that while not all partying will make you a drunkard, too much sobriety will ruin a person. He then tells a story of a respectable old woman who suddenly didn't want anything to do with anybody, stopped eating, and was generally mopey. She was "cured" by getting tipsy.
- Pitch says if you need alcohol to like people, he'll stick with the truth available in water and be alone.
- The cosmopolitan guilts Pitch: So, you think you're better than everyone, huh? Well, you're like a noble boot in the truth of the sun, but you're warped. I'm like the honest well-worn slipper that walks among the people. Or, you're like the sick chicken that no one wants to hang out with.
- Pitch finds this insulting.
- The cosmopolitan is glad, because if Pitch is insulted, then he must think humans are good after all, since Pitch is also human. See what he did there?
- Pitch accuses the cosmopolitan of being the third crook he's come across today.
- The cosmopolitan tries to get Pitch to go party with him because he sees him as a good wine. Besides, he argues, didn't Diogenes have more fun than Timon of Athens? (Both were famous misanthropes, but Diogenes was also famous for getting his drink on.)
- Pitch is super excited about the Diogenes reference and gives the cosmopolitan a strong handshake. He's so glad the cosmopolitan hates people, too, but was just playing.
- The cosmopolitan freezes up. He's like, No. That's not what I meant at all.
- The cosmopolitan gives up and walks away.