Give It A Rest, Will You?
- King Jabin of Hazor hears of the Israelites further conquests and gathers together the kings of Madon, Shimron, and Achshaph, along with the wandering tribes of the Chinneroth, Naphoth-dor, Canaanites, Amorites, Hittites, Perizzites, Jebusites, Hivites and Mizpah.
- We dare you to say that list five times fast.
- Ready…
- Go!
- Okay, welcome back.
- This hodgepodge of an army gathers together at Merom to fight Israel.
- This strategy didn't work for the last guys who challenged Israel, but for some reason this crew thinks it'll work for them. Good luck…
- God tells Joshua not to fear for all their enemies would be vanquished.
- Joshua leads the Israelites and slays the opposing army—shocking.
- Joshua personally slays the king of Hazor and burns him, probably just to make sure he's really dead. People have a tendency to come back to life in the Bible (we're looking at you, Lazarus).
- The Israelites take all the booty they can find.
- In case you'd forgotten, Joshua is kind of like Moses 2.0: "Just as the Lord had commanded Moses his servant, so Moses commanded Joshua, and so Joshua did. He left nothing undone of all that the Lord had commanded Moses" (15).
- Only two tribes make peace with Israel: the Gibeonites and some of the Hivites.
- Generally speaking, the Canaanites didn't stand a chance of making peace with Israel, since God had "harden[ed] their hearts that they should come against Israel in battle" (20). Gee thanks, God.
- Heart hardening is a bit of a pastime for God. He did the same thing to the Pharaoh back in Exodus.
- The war of Canaan is finally over.
- Joshua gives all the tribes their allotment of land.
- He probably also takes a nap. A power nap.