Enter Duke Senior, Amiens, Jaques, Orlando, Oliver, and Celia as Aliena. DUKE SENIOR Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy Can do all this that he hath promisèd? ORLANDO I sometimes do believe and sometimes do not, As those that fear they hope, and know they fear. Enter Rosalind as Ganymede, Silvius, and Phoebe. ROSALIND, as Ganymede Patience once more whiles our compact is urged. 5 To Duke. You say, if I bring in your Rosalind, You will bestow her on Orlando here? DUKE SENIOR That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her. ROSALIND, as Ganymede, to Orlando And you say you will have her when I bring her? ORLANDO That would I, were I of all kingdoms king. 10 ROSALIND, as Ganymede, to Phoebe You say you’ll marry me if I be willing? PHOEBE That will I, should I die the hour after. ROSALIND, as Ganymede But if you do refuse to marry me, You’ll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd? PHOEBE So is the bargain. 15 ROSALIND, as Ganymede, to Silvius You say that you’ll have Phoebe if she will? SILVIUS Though to have her and death were both one thing. ROSALIND, as Ganymede I have promised to make all this matter even. Keep you your word, O duke, to give your daughter,— 20 You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter.— Keep you your word, Phoebe, that you’ll marry me, Or else, refusing me, to wed this shepherd.— Keep your word, Silvius, that you’ll marry her If she refuse me. And from hence I go 25 To make these doubts all even. Rosalind and Celia exit. DUKE SENIOR I do remember in this shepherd boy Some lively touches of my daughter’s favor. ORLANDO My lord, the first time that I ever saw him Methought he was a brother to your daughter. 30 But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born And hath been tutored in the rudiments Of many desperate studies by his uncle, Whom he reports to be a great magician Obscurèd in the circle of this forest. 35 | Orlando and Duke Senior confer, each professing hope that Ganymede can keep all of his promises. Rosalind/Ganymede enters, and for dramatic effect, s/he makes Silvius, Phoebe, and Orlando promise to do what s/he says: Orlando must swear to marry Rosalind if Ganymede can produce her; Phoebe must promise to marry Silvius if she doesn't want to marry Ganymede; Silvius must swear that he will marry Phoebe if Phoebe will have him. As Rosalind/Ganymede leaves with Celia/Aliena, Orlando and Duke Senior note the resemblance between the Ganymede and Rosalind. How curious! |
Enter Touchstone and Audrey. JAQUES There is sure another flood toward, and these couples are coming to the ark. Here comes a pair of very strange beasts, which in all tongues are called fools. TOUCHSTONE Salutation and greeting to you all. 40 JAQUES, to Duke Good my lord, bid him welcome. This is the motley-minded gentleman that I have so often met in the forest. He hath been a courtier, he swears. TOUCHSTONE If any man doubt that, let him put me to 45 my purgation. I have trod a measure. I have flattered a lady. I have been politic with my friend, smooth with mine enemy. I have undone three tailors. I have had four quarrels, and like to have fought one. 50 JAQUES And how was that ta’en up? TOUCHSTONE Faith, we met and found the quarrel was upon the seventh cause. JAQUES How “seventh cause”?—Good my lord, like this fellow. 55 DUKE SENIOR I like him very well. TOUCHSTONE God ’ild you, sir. I desire you of the like. I press in here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives, to swear and to forswear, according as marriage binds and blood breaks. A poor virgin, sir, 60 an ill-favored thing, sir, but mine own. A poor humor of mine, sir, to take that that no man else will. Rich honesty dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor house, as your pearl in your foul oyster. DUKE SENIOR By my faith, he is very swift and 65 sententious. TOUCHSTONE According to the fool’s bolt, sir, and such dulcet diseases. JAQUES But for the seventh cause. How did you find the quarrel on the seventh cause? 70 TOUCHSTONE Upon a lie seven times removed.—Bear your body more seeming, Audrey.—As thus, sir: I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier’s beard. He sent me word if I said his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it was. This is called “the retort 75 courteous.” If I sent him word again it was not well cut, he would send me word he cut it to please himself. This is called “the quip modest.” If again it was not well cut, he disabled my judgment. This is called “the reply churlish.” If again it was not well 80 cut, he would answer I spake not true. This is called “the reproof valiant.” If again it was not well cut, he would say I lie. This is called “the countercheck quarrelsome,” and so to “the lie circumstantial,” and “the lie direct.” 85 JAQUES And how oft did you say his beard was not well cut? TOUCHSTONE I durst go no further than the lie circumstantial, nor he durst not give me the lie direct, and so we measured swords and parted. 90 JAQUES Can you nominate in order now the degrees of the lie? TOUCHSTONE O sir, we quarrel in print, by the book, as you have books for good manners. I will name you the degrees: the first, “the retort courteous”; the 95 second, “the quip modest”; the third, “the reply churlish”; the fourth, “the reproof valiant”; the fifth, “the countercheck quarrelsome”; the sixth, “the lie with circumstance”; the seventh, “the lie direct.” All these you may avoid but the lie direct, 100 and you may avoid that too with an “if.” I knew when seven justices could not take up a quarrel, but when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought but of an “if,” as: “If you said so, then I said so.” And they shook hands and swore brothers. 105 Your “if” is the only peacemaker: much virtue in “if.” JAQUES, to Duke Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? He’s as good at anything and yet a fool. DUKE SENIOR He uses his folly like a stalking-horse, 110 and under the presentation of that he shoots his wit. Enter Hymen, Rosalind, and Celia. Still music. HYMEN Then is there mirth in heaven When earthly things made even Atone together. Good duke, receive thy daughter. 115 Hymen from heaven brought her, Yea, brought her hither, That thou mightst join her hand with his, Whose heart within his bosom is. ROSALIND, to Duke To you I give myself, for I am yours. 120 To Orlando. To you I give myself, for I am yours. DUKE SENIOR If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter. ORLANDO If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind. PHOEBE If sight and shape be true, Why then, my love adieu. 125 ROSALIND, to Duke I’ll have no father, if you be not he. To Orlando. I’ll have no husband, if you be not he, To Phoebe. Nor ne’er wed woman, if you be not she. | Now we get back to Jaques, who comments that a flood must be coming because of all the couples are pairing up just like the animals that entered Noah's ark in twosies. Touchstone and Audrey arrive. Jaques and Duke Senior talk about how witty Touchstone is. As they chatter, Hymen, goddess of marriage, enters with Rosalind and Celia, who have ditched their Ganymede and Aliena costumes and are ready to get hitched to their men. Let the recognition begin! Duke Senior recognizes his daughter, Orlando recognizes his love, and Phoebe recognizes that she has to marry either Silvius or a woman. |
HYMEN Peace, ho! I bar confusion. 130 ’Tis I must make conclusion Of these most strange events. Here’s eight that must take hands To join in Hymen’s bands, If truth holds true contents. 135 To Rosalind and Orlando. You and you no cross shall part. To Celia and Oliver. You and you are heart in heart. To Phoebe. You to his love must accord Or have a woman to your lord. To Audrey and Touchstone. You and you are sure together 140 As the winter to foul weather. To All. Whiles a wedlock hymn we sing, Feed yourselves with questioning, That reason wonder may diminish How thus we met, and these things finish. 145 Song. "Wedding is great Juno’s crown, O blessèd bond of board and bed. ’Tis Hymen peoples every town. High wedlock then be honorèd. Honor, high honor, and renown 150 To Hymen, god of every town." DUKE SENIOR, to Celia O my dear niece, welcome thou art to me, Even daughter, welcome in no less degree. PHOEBE, to Silvius I will not eat my word. Now thou art mine, Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine. 155 | Hymen pronounces that the four couples—Orlando and Rosalind, Oliver and Celia, Silvius and Phoebe, and Touchstone and Audrey—will all be joined in marriage. Then she sings them a nice song. |
Enter Second Brother, Jaques de Boys. SECOND BROTHER Let me have audience for a word or two. I am the second son of old Sir Rowland, That bring these tidings to this fair assembly. Duke Frederick, hearing how that every day Men of great worth resorted to this forest, 160 Addressed a mighty power, which were on foot In his own conduct, purposely to take His brother here and put him to the sword; And to the skirts of this wild wood he came, Where, meeting with an old religious man, 165 After some question with him, was converted Both from his enterprise and from the world, His crown bequeathing to his banished brother, And all their lands restored to them again That were with him exiled. This to be true 170 I do engage my life. DUKE SENIOR Welcome, young man. Thou offer’st fairly to thy brothers’ wedding: To one his lands withheld, and to the other A land itself at large, a potent dukedom.— 175 First, in this forest let us do those ends That here were well begun and well begot, And, after, every of this happy number That have endured shrewd days and nights with us Shall share the good of our returnèd fortune 180 According to the measure of their states. Meantime, forget this new-fall’n dignity, And fall into our rustic revelry.— Play, music.—And you brides and bridegrooms all, With measure heaped in joy to th’ measures fall. | Before the crowd can celebrate by eating wedding cake and doing the chicken dance, Jaques de Boys, brother to Orlando and Oliver, makes a dramatic entrance. Jaques de Boys (not to be confused with just plain Jaques the moody clown) delivers some good news: Duke Frederick had raised an army, intending to murder and pillage Duke Senior's forest hideaway. No, that's not the good news. The good news is that just as Duke Frederick was leading that army to the forest, he stopped and had a chat with an old religious man. The man instantly convinced Frederick not to murder his brother in cold blood, and to leave the courtly world and give up all his worldly possessions. Well, Duke Senior gets his dukedom back, which Orlando will now inherit because he's marrying into the family. Oliver also gets his land and title back, which is good. Now everyone, including Duke Senior, can return to the court and get out of that forest. Before they return, though, they agree to party like it's 1599. |
JAQUES, to Second Brother Sir, by your patience: if I heard you rightly, The Duke hath put on a religious life And thrown into neglect the pompous court. SECOND BROTHER He hath. JAQUES To him will I. Out of these convertites 190 There is much matter to be heard and learned. To Duke. You to your former honor I bequeath; Your patience and your virtue well deserves it. To Orlando. You to a love that your true faith doth merit. 195 To Oliver. You to your land, and love, and great allies. To Silvius. You to a long and well-deservèd bed. To Touchstone. And you to wrangling, for thy loving voyage 200 Is but for two months victualled.—So to your pleasures. I am for other than for dancing measures. DUKE SENIOR Stay, Jaques, stay. JAQUES To see no pastime, I. What you would have 205 I’ll stay to know at your abandoned cave. He exits. DUKE SENIOR Proceed, proceed. We’ll begin these rites, As we do trust they’ll end, in true delights. Dance. All but Rosalind exit. | Jaques, still melancholy, doesn't join the dance but goes instead to join Duke Frederick in the religious life. This is fitting, because if anyone deserves to be harassed by the melancholy Jaques, it's good ol' Duke Frederick. Everyone goes back to dancing and general merriment until they all exit, leaving only Rosalind on the stage. |