"The Poetry of Drugs and Promiscuous Sex"
- Back at home, Elaine is cooking up some "soy cutlets" for the family. William doesn't exactly look ecstatic. But, really—who wouldn't be ecstatic about some good ol' soy cutlets?
- At this moment, William's sister Anita appears at the door. Anita and her mother share a tense dialogue, and we discover that Anita was trying to sneak in a record. The record in question is Bookends by Simon and Garfunkel.
- Elaine has banned rock music in the household because she views it to be a corrupting force.
- "Simon and Garfunkel are poetry," Anita protests.
- "The poetry of drugs and promiscuous sex," Elaine responds.
- The argument reaches a tipping point, and Anita storms off in a huff. "This is a house of lies!" she declares. William does his best to keep out of the middle of the conflict.